Ex On The Beach: How big is Gary Beadle’s parsnip REALLY? The girls tell all

They say that the average person thinks about Gary Beadle's penis once every three minutes.

Which means that heat is above average but – hey – we always suspected that.

We did our in-depth investigation into the size of Gaz's peen complete with some NSFW pictures, but that has not slaked our thirst for more knowledge about the most famous knob in Newcastle.

And his penis. LOL.

So this time we've gone even further. We've been seeking the opinion of people who have seen it with their bare naked eyes, Firstly, the female cast of the new series of Ex On The Beach.

Jemma Lucy, pictured above, who bedded Gaz on the first night of filming, said: "He has got a parsnip, it is MASSIVE."

And, talking about life in the Ex On The Beach villa, added: "He's contantly whacking his dick on everyone."

SIDENOTE: WANT MORE CELEBRITY PENIS? Check out our handy gallery below

ANYWAY, BACK TO GARY'S DICK.

Melissa Reeve, who use to date Gaz, commented: "The first time I saw the parsnip I was like..."

And Lillie Lexie Gregg added coyly: "Does the parsnip live up to the hype? I was satisfied with our sexual relationship."

But we were not satisfied leaving our investigation into the Beadle peen there, and delved back further.

Anita Kaushik, who had a dalliance with Gaz and Little Gaz during Ex On The Beach 2, preferred a visual representation, and went with this.

Is anyone's vagina/bot-bot deep enough to accommodate all that? Blimey.

Next, we spoke to former Geordie Shore member Kyle Christie, who was surprisingly forthcoming on the subject of foreskin.

OK, we just said that because of the alliteration, but he was certainly happy to talk cock with heatworld.

"It's like a third leg," Kyle told us.

"It really is."

So far, so the eye-watering length and girth of our dreams.

But there are other people in the Geordie Shore house who've seen Gaz's peen with their eyes.

That's right: Holly Hagan, who kissed Gary on the penis in the very first episode of the very first series of Geordie Shore. We have not forgotten.

We will never forget.

So what did our Hols have to say about the penis that Gary claims is comparable, favourably, with a Sky remote control?

"It's not that big really," Holly told us.

But then burst out laughing for ages and ages so maybe that was cheeky joke.

In conclusion: Gary Beadle's penis. We're thinking about it right now.

We will never not be thinking about it.

And we're perfectly happy with that.