How to cope with Valentine's Day if you're suddenly single

Sex & Relationships

How to cope with Valentine's Day if you're suddenly single

Have you been dumped just before Valentine's Day? Here's how to handle the 14th February when you're suddenly single…

As many people spring-clean their houses between Christmas and February, many others also take the time to tidy up their love lives.

"Often the pressure of having to make an effort on Valentine’s Day and to be out with all the happy loving couples can push a relationship to breaking point"

And, according to new research released by dating website IllicitEncounters.com, the top dumping day of the year is Red Tuesday - just four days before Valentine's Day.

But why?

Well, according to relationship expert and divorce coach Sara Davison, the 14th February can put unnecessary pressure on on relationships and, in some cases, force couples to make decisions about their future together.

She explains: "Often the pressure of having to make an effort on Valentine’s Day and to be out with all the happy loving couples can push a relationship to breaking point.

"It can seem harsh to end it all before this supposedly 'romantic' day but it is actually a lot more honest to face your feelings and make the decision to walk away rather than go through with the pretence of it all."

But what should we do if we find ourselves 'suddenly single' on the most loved-up day of the year?

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Sara advises...

  • Have a good cry:
    Many of us bottle up our emotions and suppress how we feel all of the time. Crying is part of the healing process and an effective way to release negative feelings so allow yourself some time to grieve the end of your relationship.
  • Get some support:

Surround yourself with positive people that make you feel good. If you think you need some professional help from a coach or your GP then don’t be afraid to ask.

  • Take off your rose tinted glasses:

Focus on the parts of your relationship that you didn’t like and that annoyed you or made your sad. You will always find some if you look hard enough.

  • Plan something to do on Valentine’s Day evening:

Throw a singles party or go out with a bunch of single friends for the night. If you really can’t face being sociable then plan to spend a night relaxing at home, sometime a glass of wine and a bubble bath can be just the answer.

  • Write a bucket list of all the things you can now do that you never could have done in your last relationship:

You will be surprised at how this keeps you moving forward even when at times it seems there is no light at the end of the tunnel. Schedule some in your diary now so you have some exciting goals to work towards.

She finishes: "The important thing to remember is that a relationship that ends was never meant to be forever.

"There will always be hurt and upset when it comes to an end and there will be things you miss and wish you still had. However sometimes good things fall apart so better things can come together.

"You don’t know what is around the corner and you now have a chance to go and find someone who will love you and stay with you.

"In the meantime remember that you only live once and there is lots of fun you can have while you are single!"

Wise words, we're sure you'll agree.

Sara Davison is an expert life, business, break-up and divorce coach. Her unique coaching programme can support individuals with the tools, techniques and advice needed with the journey through separation, break-up and divorce.

To find out more or get some personal advice please visit www.saradavison.com.

Have you ever found yourself suddenly single on Valentine's Day? Let us know how you coped via the comments box below.

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