Love Island is back! But who's the hottest contestant of them all? Here's our (unofficial) Nando's Peri-Ometer heat rating...
Wahey! Love Island is back, and the villa is once again chockablock with hot bods.
But who's the hottest of them all?
Well, the best way I can fully rate these sexy new love islanders is with the help of my one true love.. Nando's chicken!
Myself and the classic Nando's Peri-ometer are going to show you who’s Extra Hot and who needs a little sprinkle of spice to get things going!
Peri-ometer rating: PLAIN-ISH
New arrival Jonny definitely has a pretty face, but that's not enough for our independent ladies - I mean, look what happened to poor Harley! Admittedly, we haven't really seen enough of him yet to judge, but I reckon Jonny should try telling the girls not to pick him - it seemed to work for Dom!
Out of respect for the original love islanders, I'm going to also rate Chris (the other fresh man meat) as plain-ish... for now. But I can see this cheeky chappy soaring right up to extra hot in the next couple days. He's already tried it on with three ladies and won the title of hot bod in the villa, and he's only been there one day! Go on Chris!
Sorry Harlz, I thought you were going to be a dream when you walked in, but sadly you’ve been sending me to sleep. I hate to say it, but maybe you’re just too nice! Your bromance with Marcel is cute, but that’s not what we’re tuning in for! I think it’s time to step it up or pack up your Speedos.
I was really hoping for a proper TOWIE romance with Chloe and Kem, but sadly I had to cancel my booking with Sheesh for an Essex wedding. However, things are looking up with her and new hot bod (and Scotty T wannabe - am I right?) Chris, so maybe they will be the power couple we’ve been waiting for and Chloe will climb up the Peri-ometer!
Peri-ometer rating: LEMON & HERB
Poor poor Marcel, the kid can’t catch a break. I think he’s a hot potato, but sadly being in failed noughties boy band doesn't really do it for the ladies. Who would've thought it, eh? I haven’t lost hope though, maybe he’ll get really drunk and serenade one of the ladies into the bedroom. Maybe.
Dom is a hottie and he’d be further up my Peri-ometer if he hadn’t pulled the whole 'woe is me' act and thrown a strop about not winning the gun show! If he keeps this up, sexy Jess might start looking elsewhere for her hot sauce.
Peri-ometer rating: MEDIUM
I have a very love/hate relationship with posh girl Montana. I feel for her after she had her man snatched away, but as Mr Justin Timberlake says, "what goes around, goes around, goes around, comes all the way back around." You've got to give her props for getting back in the saddle with Chris though. She may only be medium spice right now, but I can’t see this girl going down without a fight. Careful of your hair extensions Jess, she may drag you down on her way up!
There’s no doubt Amber's a fiery one (not to mention a bit of a tease), but if I hear her say she won’t be putting her eggs in one basket one more time, I'm gonna grab a box myself and hurl them at the TV! Let’s just hope that now she’s seen the new boys she’ll finally let Kem put her egg in his basket and be done with it!
Peri-ometer rating: HOT
Unlike Marcel, this boy has come in all guns blazin'. He knows what he wants... and he’s already gone and got it! I also love that he’d rather have a pint than a work out, however I would advise him to be careful with Olivia as she seems like a hard lady to pin down. But so far, he’s a winner winner chicken dinner in my eyes!
This confident lady has taken our young Sam under her wing, and he’s absolutely smitten. To be fair, who wouldn’t be? She’s got great bants, a smokin' bod, and knows a thing or two about motorcycles. Lads, join the queue - Olivia's in it to win it!
The Kim K of the island made a fantastic entrance with her barely-there bikini and naughty behaviour, and she hasn’t let us down since! Dom is already at her beck and call, but is she just using him for the dough or is it six-pack at first site? Only time will tell!
Peri-ometer rating: EXTRA HOT
What can I say? I’m a sucker for an Essex boy, and Kem's got the bants, the body, and, to be honest, I’m actually really jealous of his hair! It looks SO soft! If I were him, I’d sack off Amber and find a proper sort (can you believe I’m not from Essex?). Serve me up some Kem with a side of halloumi any day!
Of course, my number one EXTRA HOT chick is this absolute babe! She’s intelligent, witty, and just damn HOT! I’m keeping everything crossed that Camilla finds her Prince Charming in the villa, but between you and me - I would love her and Kem to become star-crossed lovers. He could show her the world of vajazzles and fake tan, and she can show him where Afghanistan is on a map. OK, it might not be looking likely right now, but a girl can dream...