Earlier today, the nation was rocked by the news that Geordie Shore’s Charlotte Crosby has been privately dealing with a devastating ectopic pregnancy.
Speaking exclusively to heat!, she said: "I thought I had a really bad period because I was bleeding and cramping – I can't describe the pain, it was awful."
Charlotte opened up about her terrifying ordeal, revealing that she had begun bleeding internally after tearing open her Fallopian tube.
And the experience was only made worse when the consultant told Charlotte that she needed an urgent operation to remove the damaged fallopian tube.
"I was so scared that I wasn't going to be able to have babies. I want to have children," Charlotte added.
Luckily, "they reassured me that I'd still be able to have children, I'd just have to try a bit harder".
Her bravery in speaking up about her diagnosis has sparked a nationwide conversation about ectopic pregnancy, encouraging many women to open up about their experiences and their own feelings after going through a tubal ectopic.
It has also raised a very important question; how are women being advised to deal with the emotional aftermath of an ectopic pregnancy?
What is an ectopic pregnancy?
Ectopic pregnancy affects 1 in 80 pregnancies - and can be life-threatening if not diagnosed immediately.
Put simply, it means an “out of place” pregnancy.
Can a foetus be safely moved in an ectopic pregnancy?
Tragically not.
An ectopic pregnancy can never lead to the birth of a baby, as the Fallopian tube cannot expand as the womb does to make room for a developing embryo and it does not have a sufficient blood supply.
What are the after-effects of an ectopic pregnancy?
An ectopic pregnancy can cause permanent damage to the Fallopian tube or loss of the tube, and, if it involves very heavy internal bleeding that's not treated promptly, it can even lead to death.
This means that any woman who goes through a tubal ectopic will lose her baby and part of her fertility, as well as deal with the risks it poses to her own mortality.
So it’s understandable that the emotional aftermath can be truly devastating.
What are the most common emotional reactions to an ectopic pregnancy?
Many women understandably find themselves experiencing feelings of fear, sadness, anger, vulnerability, and panic.
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust also reveal that many women find themselves overwhelmed by feelings of guilt, despite the fact that an ectopic pregnancy is never anybody’s fault.
They say: “It is important to remember that the ectopic pregnancy was not your fault and that there was nothing you could have done to prevent it happening.”
It is important to remember that everyone deals with grief differently.
However some of the most commonly recorded reactions include:
Can ectopic pregnancy lead to PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder)?
Many women, as mentioned, will find themselves reliving aspects of their ectopic pregnancy’s diagnosis and treatment in the form of intense memories or flashbacks. They may also experience nightmares or bad dreams and frightening thoughts, as well as physical reactions to situations that remind them of the traumatic event.
This is a form of PTSD - which is very common amongst women who have been through such a traumatic experience.
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust explain: “Post-Traumatic Stress (PTSD) is normal to experience after a traumatic event and will usually improve naturally over a few weeks.
“NHS Choices recommends you should visit your GP if you are still having problems with this symptom about four weeks after the traumatic experience, or if the symptoms are particularly troublesome.”
Can ectopic pregnancy lead to depression?
Depression is more than feeling unhappy for a few days; it is when you’re persistently sad for weeks or months - an understandable reaction for someone who has been through the trauma of an ectopic pregnancy.
According to Depression UK, depression is “a mood disorder characterised by low mood and a wide range of other possible symptoms, which will vary from person to person”.
In short, it is a real illness, with real symptoms, and will often require treatment. It is not a sign of weakness, or something something you can “snap out of” by “pulling yourself together”.
The 10 psychological symptoms of depression
The 10 physical symptoms of depression
REMEMBER: There are many other symptoms of depression and they can vary widely from person to person, so you may not have every symptom listed above.
If you experience some of these symptoms for most of the day, every day for more than two weeks, you should seek help from your GP.
You can find out more about the signs and symptoms of depression here.
Is it natural to experience grief after an ectopic pregnancy?
Many women do experience feelings of grief after an ectopic pregnancy - for their baby, for their fertility, and for their future.
However, while the feelings of loss can seem unbearable, grief is actually a healing process.
Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross has named the five stages of grief people go through following a serious loss. Sometimes people get stuck in one of the first four stages. Their lives can be painful until they move to the fifth stage – acceptance.
Five Stages Of Grief
1) Denial and Isolation.
You try to carry on with normal life and suppress your negative emotions
2) Anger
Anger builds as you resent the fact that this is out of your control, and, as there was nothing you could have done to prevent this from happening, it seems so unfair.
** 3) Bargaining**
You will do anything to change the situation and get stuck in a maze of questions like “what if…?” and “if only…?”
** 4) Depression**
A period of intense sadness as we start to face our present reality. Deep feelings of grief, numbness, lethargy, and emptiness. Often asking questions such as “is there any point in going on?”
** 5) Acceptance**
Learning to live with the fact that life has changed forever - and how to enjoy life again.
How should I deal with those feelings of grief?
It can take time to move through the different stages but the journey will be smoother if you bear the following in mind:
Remember, most importantly of all, to please be gentle with yourself and allow yourself the time you need to grieve.
Find out more about how to deal with feelings of grief and permanent separation here.
How should I deal with the emotional aftermath of an ectopic pregnancy?
The best way to deal with a traumatic life event is, quite simply, to talk about it - and to allow yourself time to grieve and come to terms with what’s happened to you.
If you find it difficult to speak with your friends and family, then you can phone the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust helpline on 020 7733 2653, where you can speak to trained operators with direct experience of ectopic pregnancy.
You can also visit their ectopic pregnancy discussion forums, where there are many women and men who have experienced ectopic pregnancy and who are also looking for people to talk to.
They explain: “This is a safe and private environment that is overseen my medical professionals. Many strong and long-lasting friendships have been built here.”
Mind UK also suggest that women should try the following:
Most importantly, make sure that you give yourself time to recuperate emotionally and physically - and do not be afraid to be honest with the people around you, especially your partner, about how you are feeling. Let them know how you need them to help you through this difficult time.
Will I need counselling after an ectopic pregnancy?
Counselling can be an invaluable tool in coming to terms with an ectopic pregnancy - but it is worth remembering that it is not a quick fix solution.
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust explain: “Counselling can be extremely effective at the right time but it is not a quick fix and it won’t take away the pain of first grief. That experience of grief, scary as it may be, is healing and forms part of your own recovery from one of the most significant events likely to have happened in your life. We urge women who have experienced the loss of a baby through ectopic pregnancy to please be gentle with yourself and allow yourself the time you need to grieve.
“If, some time on, you are still tearful all the time, feeling bereft, can think of nothing else, cannot ‘move on’, and don’t feel that there are ever any good days, then counselling can be a very useful step.”
You can read more about this over at their website now.
Is it natural to feel anxious about the future after an ectopic pregnancy?
Absolutely; many women worry whether they’ll be able to get pregnant again, or frightened that, if they do, they may have another ectopic pregnancy.
If you had surgery for the ectopic pregnancy, your doctor should be able to tell you about the condition of your womb, Fallopian tube(s), and ovaries, and how this may affect your future fertility - particularly if there is any damage to the other tube.
However it is worth remembering that 65% of women are healthily pregnant within 18 months of an ectopic pregnancy.
The earlier you end an ectopic pregnancy, the less damage you will do to that tube and the greater your chances of bringing another baby to term. And, even if you do lose one of your tubes, you can still become pregnant without the help of fertility procedures if your other tube is normal.
Are there any helplines for women who have been through an ectopic pregnancy?
1) Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
PHONE: 020 7733 2653
2) Mind UK
PHONE: 0300 123 3393 (Monday to Friday, 9am to 6pm)
EMAIL: info@mind.org.uk
3) Samaritans
PHONE: 116 123 (24 hours a day, 365 days a year)
EMAIL: jo@samaritans.org
4) Tommy’s
PHONE: 0800 0147 800
EMAIL: mailbox@tommys.org
Charlotte was not paid for her interview. Instead, she asked heat to donate to the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust and St John and Elizabeth Hospice.
You can read her full, emotional interview in the new heat magazine, out now
You may also wish to read:
Charlotte Crosby thanks fans for support after opening up about traumatic ectopic pregnancy
Advice on how to cope and grieve after a miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy or stillbirth