Taylor Swift has dropped her newest album, The Tortured Poets Department, and Swifties are losing their minds.
After splitting from long-time beau Joe Alwyn, briefly rekindling her fling with Matty Healy, and finding her own love story with NFL star Travis Kelce, it seems Taylor's dating history has once again acted as some top notch inspiration for the 31 songs that span over the double album.
They say 'write what you know,' and over her ten-year songwriting career, the star has done just that - mining her personal life for lyrical inspiration. Happily, it's a tactic that has brought us plenty of break-up anthems (as well as some sweet love songs).
Taylor Swift's list of ex's include a roster of A-List names lucky enough to land themselves a date or two (or three, or four) with the Eras Tour star. That list includes names such as Harry Styles, Matty Healy, Taylor Lautner, Joe Jonas, Jake Gyllenhaal, Scottish DJ Calvin Harris, and John Mayer. From The Tortured Poets Department to Midnights, Fearless to Lover, the record-breaking singer's past flames flicker in almost every hit.
So, the time has come to *rolls up sleeves, takes deep breath* analyse every Taylor Swift hit and discover which relationship has inspired which song...
The moral of the story? Be nice to Taylor, because she will use your relationship as material for a Grammy-winning mega hit.
All Too Well (10 Minute Version)
Who's it about? Jake Gyllenhaal
We're starting off strong.
Rewind to 2010, and Taylor was pictured out on a wintery stroll with Jake Gyllenhaal, wrapped up in a black striped scarf and clutching Starbucks maple lattes. At the time, the popster was 19 to Jake's 28 years old. Fastforward to the release of the original Red in 2012, and that very scarf crops up again in All Too Well - a song which Swift has since described as being extremely difficult to write.
Jump to the modern day, and Taylor's now the proud owner of All Too Well (10 Minute Version) and a short film, courtesy of Red (Taylor's Version.)
Key lyrics: 'And I was never good at telling jokes, but the punchline goes / I'll never get older, but your lovers stay my age.'
The Tortured Poet's Department
Who's it about? Matty Healy
Fresh off Taylor's newest album, TTPD, many fans expected this title track would focus in on Joe Alwyn himself. After all, the title of the album appeared to be a dig - with Joe previously revealing he was in a group chat with Paul Mescal and Andrew Scott titled 'The Tortured Man Club'...
Instead, it seems 'The Tortured Poet's Department seems to be about Taylor's time spent with Matty Healy instead!
In the lyrics, Taylor hints that while she's 'seen this episode before' and knows Matty isn't right for her, she 'still loved the show.' Elsewhere, she sings, 'You smoked then ate seven bars of chocolate / We declared Charlie Puth should be a bigger artist.' In a 2018 tweet dug out my fans, Matty tweeted 'That Charlie Puth and Boyz II Men track is hard.'
In another line, the lyrics read, 'I scratch your head, you fall asleep / Like a tattooed golden retriever.' Not everyone would describe Matty as a golden retriever, but he's certainly tattooed...
Key lyrics: 'At dinner, you take my ring off my middle finger and put it on the one people put wedding rings on / And that's the closest I've come to my heart exploding.'
Getaway Car
Who's it about? Tom Hiddleston
Getaway Car was written about Tay's brief fling with actor Tom Hiddleston in 2016 - which many believed to be a rebound after breaking up with Scottish DJ Calvin Harris.
The song compares a rebound to a getaway car whizzing her away from her heartbreak and straight into an escape. But evidently, the relationship was cursed from the beginning. A key piece of evidence: Taylor met both Tom and her future BF Joe Alwyn at the 2016 Met Gala. After calling it quits with Tom, Taylor swiftly found love with Joe - writing 'Don't pretend it's such a mystery / Think about the place where you first met me.'
Key lyrics: 'I'm in a getaway car / I left you in a motel bar / Put the money in a bag and I stole the keys / That was the last time you ever saw me.'
I Bet You Think About Me
Who's it about? Jake Gyllenhaal
Initially intended for release on Red, this single didn't find its way into pop culture until a decade later with Red (Taylor's Version.) The song takes a number of jabs at Jake, including 'You grew up in a silver-spoon gated community / Glamorous, shiny, bright Beverly Hills.' The nepo baby just so happens to be part of an industry family, with his dad being director Stephen Gyllenhaal. Case closed.
(The music was also BFF Blake Lively's directorial debut.)
Key lyrics: 'I bet you think about me when you’re out / At your cool indie music concerts every week / I bet you think about me in your house / With your organic shoes and your million-dollar couch / I bet you think about me when you say / ‘Oh my God, she’s insane, she wrote a song about me / I bet you think about me.’
Back To December
Who's it about? Taylor Lautner
Taylor's songs often see her on the receiving end of apologies, but in Back To December, the tables are turned. Harking from her Speak Now era, this ballad is supposedly directed at Twilight actor Taylor Lautner. The two Taylor's dated from August through to December (yes, December) after meeting on the set of Valentine's Day. The actor joins the elite group of Swift's exes who actually walk away with a positive write-up. Top marks, Jacob.
And there's really no bad blood between these two. Taylor L appeared in the music video for 'I Can See You' last year, before backflipping his way to join Taylor S onstage at the Eras Tour. Talking in a podcast appearance on Call Her Daddy, Taylor L's wife, also called Taylor, shared that she was never threatened by the ex couple having a friendship.
'It definitely helps that Taylor is as nice as she is and so sweet and respectful,' she said. ‘She’s just a nice person, very disarming.'
Key lyrics: 'So this is me swallowing my pride / Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night"'
We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
Who's it about? Jake Gyllenhaal
One of the many, many takedowns of Jake is reserved for the first single from Red, in which she calls out the actor for his 'exhausting' changes of heart and pretentious musical tastes. This one's for those ex's that wouldn't dream of getting down to this. sick. beat...
Key lyrics: 'You would hide away and find your piece of mind / With some indie record that's much cooler than mine.'
Sweet Nothing
Who's it about? Joe Alwyn
The sweetest of all love songs from Taylor's latest album Midnights, Taylor shouts out her former lover for being the calm amidst the chaos - with Irish seaside town Wicklow also getting a mention, where Joe was based whilst filming Conversations With Friends.
Key lyrics: 'Outside, they’re push and shoving / You’re in the kitchen humming / All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing.'
I Forgot That You Existed
Who's it about? Calvin Harris (although some think Kanye West and Kim Kardashian)
From her 2019 album Lover, this song explains the feeling of finally feeling indifferent over someone who once hurt you - letting Calvin know she was so over him.
After all, Taylor and Calvin didn't end on good terms. A month after their amicable split, news broke that Taylor had co-written Calvin’s recent song with Rihanna, This Is What You Came For. Calvin took to Twitter with some choice words, writing ‘hurtful to me at this point that her and her team would go so far out of their way to try and make ME look bad. I figure if you’re happy in your new relationship you should just focus on that instead of trying to tear your ex bf down for something to do. I know you’re off tour and you need someone new to try and bury like Katy [Perry] etc, but I’m not that guy, sorry. I won’t allow it.' Ouch.
Which is why we imagine I Forgot That You Existed was a real therapy session for Tay. After all, the greatest revenge is simply not caring.
Key lyrics: ‘I forgot that you existed / And I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t / And it was no nice / So peaceful and quiet / I forgot that you existed / it isn’t love, it isn’t hate / it’s just indifference.'
Dear John
Who's it about? John Mayer
No prizes for guessing who this one's about. Taylor didn't hold back in the take of her brief relationship with fellow musician/ serial dater John Mayer, deploying classic Swifty imagery in the line 'I'm shining like fireworks / All over your sad empty town.' John later claimed that the song made him feel 'really humiliated' and branded the song 'cheap songwriting.'
Although Taylor clearly had some issues with John back in the day, there's really no hard feelings. Ahead of her Speak Now (Taylor's Version) release, the singer asked her fans to leave John alone.
Key lyrics: 'Dear John, I see it all now it was wrong / Don’t you think nineteen’s too young / To be played by your dark, twisted games / When I loved you so?'
Would've, Could've, Should've
Who's it about? John Meyer
Yet another song reserved for the country star, Taylor used the recent release of this song on Midnights 3 A.M Edition to further express her regret over dating John. The singer was 32 when he first started dating 19 year old Taylor - and ever a fan of Easter eggs, Taylor made the song Midnights 19th track. With lyrics such as ‘Give me back my girlhood / it was mine first,' and 'dancing with the devil,' we don't think John's a fan of this one.
Key lyrics: ‘God rest my soul / I miss who I used to be / The tomb won’t close / Stained glass windows in my mind / I regret you all the time.’
Style
Who's it about? Harry Styles
Once again, the clue's in the name. While the lyrics to 1989's standout track refer to a 'James Dean'-style bad boy, the video lays the Harry allusions on thick, with the appearance of the paper aeroplane necklaces that Swift and Styles reportedly swapped. Remember those, they'll prove important next...
Key lyrics: 'You've got that long hair, slicked back, white t-shirt / And I've got that good girl thing in a tight little skirt'
Out Of The Woods
Who's it about? Harry Styles
Another post-Styles song, another reference to aeroplane-based statement jewellery. The accompanying video once again ramps up the references to ex-Directioner Harry: Taylor wears a princessy blue dress that harks back to the one she was pictured in straight after their breakup.
Key lyrics: 'Remember when you hit the brakes too soon / Twenty stitches in a hospital room?'
Dress
Who's it about? Joe Alwyn (or more specifically, their bedroom antics.)
From 2017's Reputation, this one is certainly one of Taylor’s sexier songs. An ode to her love for Joe, this song is largely a love letter to their alone time together. In case there’s any question that Mr. Alwyn's the lucky lad, the song includes the lyric ‘Nights back when you met me / Your buzzcut, and my hair bleached.' When they met in 2016, Taylor was still sporting bleached hair, and Joe was rocking a buzzcut after starring in Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk.
Key lyrics: ‘Carve your name into my bedpost / Cause I don’t want you like a best friend / Only bought this dress so you could take it off’
I Knew You Were Trouble
Who's it about? Harry Styles
Trouble, trouble, trouble. Taylor's 2013 single refers to the first time she crossed paths with One Direction singer Harry, and was written during one of the pair's (multiple) break ups. 'It's not hard to access that emotion when the person the song is directed at is standing by the side of the stage watching,' she later said of her performance at the BRIT Awards in 2013.
Key lyrics: 'I heard you moved on from whispers on the street / A new notch in your belt is all I'll ever be'
Forever & Always
Who's it about? Joe Jonas
Who could ever forget this one. After Jonas Brother No. 2 dumped Taylor in a 27 second (yep, less than half a minute) phone call, the singer hit back with one of her most emotionally raw tracks to date. And Joe does not come out of it well.
Key lyrics: 'Was I out of line? Did I say something way too honest? Made you run and hide / Like a scared little boy?'
Teardrops On My Guitar
Who's it about? Drew Hardwick
Like most of Taylor's early material, 'Teardrops' takes inspiration from her high school days - and in this case, her unrequited crush on classmate Drew Hardwick. According to Swift, Drew showed up at her house two years after she wrote the song. Her response? 'Wow, you're late!'
Key lyrics: 'Drew talks to me, I laugh 'cause it's just so funny / That I can't even see anyone when he's with me'
Mr. Perfectly Fine
Who's it about? Joe Jonas.
Another song revived from the vault for Fearless (Taylor’s Version), this one's about an ex who was left totally unbothered after breaking the singer's heart - and who could forget Joe's infamous alleged 25-second phone call.
Adding the song to her breakup canon, Taylor tweeted, ‘Me in 2020: life is chill, writing songs based in fiction to avoid drama, feeling pretty grown up. My 2008 music from the vault, in a goblin voice: REELEEEEEEASE MR PERFECTLY FIIIIIIINE.'
Following Game Of Thrones star Sophie Turner's split from husband Joe, she and Taylor stepped out together for a dinner date. Now that's a power move for Team Saylor.
Key lyrics: ‘Hello, Mr “Casually cruel” / Mr “Everything revolves around you” / I’ve been Miss Misery since your goodbye / And you’re Mr “Perfectly fine.”'
Begin Again
Who's it about? Conor Kennedy
A tale of picking yourself back up after a horrible break-up and dragging yourself out on a date - or as Taylor told Ryan Seacrest, 'when you've gotten through a really bad relationship and you finally dust yourself off.' At the time of writing, the singer was dating Conor Kennedy (as in, the Kennedys). Bonus points for the sideswipe at 5' 11 Jake Gyllenhaal in the line 'He didn't like it when I wore high heels, but I do.'
Key lyrics: 'You throw your head back laughing like a little kid / I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did'
Fifteen
Who's it about? Brandon Borello
Ahh, to be young and in love. From a process of elimination, the ever-so-emotional 'Fifteen' gets pinned on Swift's high-school boyfriend Brandon Borello - mainly because she was indeed dating him at 15 years old! It's thought Brandon is also the love behind some of Taylor's earlier hits, including 'Our Song' and 'Tim McGraw.'
Key lyrics: 'In your life you'll do things greater than dating the boy on the football team'
You're Losing Me
Who's it about? Joe Alwyn
While Joe was often the subject of Taylor's sweetest of songs, this is one of the very few breakup tunes fans think could be about the British actor. Neither party has publicly commented on the split, but rumours swirled that it was around Joe's extremely private approach to fame - and Taylor's tendency to share her life with the world.
Appearing on Midnights 3AM Edition, 'You're Losing Me' is about a couple with fundamentally different opinions of where their relationship is headed. Taylor sings her heart out as a woman who has put her everything into making the relationship work, only to have the bare minimum back.
And there's also a hint that the point of no return was an argument over marriage - with Taylor singing 'And I wouldn't marry me either/ A pathological people pleaser/ Who only wanted you to see her.'
Key lyrics: 'My heart won't start anymore/ For you/ 'Cause you're losing me'
So Long, London
Who's it about? Joe Alwyn
We've all heard of Lover's gushing 'London Boy,' the most glaringly obvious declaration of love for British actor Joe. Well, on TTPD, Taylor hits back with the most heartbreaking track five song of all, 'So Long, London.'
In the song, which seems to be the sister of 'You're Losing Me', Taylor talks of her relationship slowly coming to an end. Hinting at a relationship full of promises that never came true, she sings, 'You swore that you loved me but where were the clues/ I died on the alter waiting for proof / You sacrificed us to the God of your bluest days.'
'Had a good run / But I'm not the one, London.'
Perhaps her biggest easter egg to date, the song is also 9 minutes and 28 seconds in length. For context, Joe and Taylor were first confirmed to be dating on September 28, 2016. That's right: 9/28.
Key lyrics: ' And I’m pissed off you would let me give you all that youth for free / So long, London.’
Better Than Revenge
Who's it about? Joe Jonas
Although not directly about Joe, this is one of the rare Taylor songs where the singer directs her anger towards her ex-BF's new beau. Lyrics hint towards an 'actress' with a lover of 'vintage dresses' - all of which points to Camilla Belle.
The original lyrics threw some serious shade, with TayTay singing 'She's better known/ For the things that she does on the mattress.' In her Taylor's Version re-recording, the singer finally responded to the slut-shaming allegations by changing the lyrics. Insisting she was too young and naive at 18 to realise that the lyrics were so uncool, she switched it to the much friendlier 'He was a moth to the flame / She was holding the matches'
Key Lyrics: 'They didn't teach you that in prep school/ So it's up to me/ But no amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity'
Picture To Burn
Who's it about? Jordan Alford
One of TayTay's most scathing song, 'Picture To Burn' details a lover finally cutting her cheating other half off. Released in 2008, it's still a firm favourite among Swifties worldwide, screamed at the top of lungs at every opportunity.
While she didn't namedrop the former flame who inspired the song, many who knew teenage Taylor insist the song has some similarities towards her relationship with her high school boyfriend, Jordan Alford. Allegedly, Jordan left Taylor for one of her friends - who later became his wife! All's well that ends well.
Key lyrics: 'There's no time for tears/ I'm just sitting here planning my revenge/ There's nothing stopping me/ From going out with all of your best friends'
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