Arguably the longest standing taboo, the word ‘period’ elicits a reaction like no other. If we must discuss our ‘cycle’, we’re still required to do so euphemistically. After all, the words we have at our disposal are rather gut-wrenching: take uterus, menstruation, and vagina, for example.
To say this most important rite of passage comes on pretty quickly is something of an understatement. One day you’re an 11-year-old plaiting a My Little Pony’s hair; the next you’re encumbered by an involuntary, free-flowing waterfall of blood coming out of an orifice you’ve only just begun to understand the purpose of. And it doesn’t stop there. You’re then required to put up with the absurd presence of a chafing ‘Barbie sized mattress’ in your knickers, to quote Caitlin Moran.
Fast-forward to adulthood and it doesn't get much better. A defining aspect of being a woman is waking up at 6am in a male's bed (whose opinion you couldn’t care more about, by the way) to find that the worst has happened. You’ve leaked. Do you lure him out of bed in the hope that you can blast the sheet through the wash, dry it, and get it back on the bed before he suspects a thing? Or, do you render your toothbrush defunct in a bid to vigorously scrub the patch with warm water and soap? Whatever you do, you certainly do not say ‘I’m sorry, but I’ve leaked’. The misogynous stigmatisation (we’re looking at you, Donald Trump!) of periods as unclean and abhorrent is alive and well.
We may have become more adept and crafty in dealing with ‘leaking’ situations since our initiation, but such situations remain the most unfortunate of inevitabilities. Thanks to the development of a new 'Bluetooth tampon,' though, such scenarios could mercifully become a thing of the past.
We’re all pretty au fait with the idea of quirky start-ups, but the latest launch in period technology perhaps takes the, erm… tampon. Aptly named my.Flow, and set to arrive in 2017, the specially designed tampon has, according to The Guardian, 'an elongated string composed of medical-grade conductive steel.' This connects by Bluetooth to a key fob that attaches to your jean loops or belt, meaning that via the app, you’ll be duly alerted as to how saturated your soaker-upper is. It's either wearable technology gone mad, or marvellous.
The Bluetooth device is set to cost retail in the US for around $49, and the ‘companion tampons’ should come in at around $13 for a monthly supply.
This supposed giant leap for womankind will invariably spark some controversy. First and foremost it begs the question: are we invariably entrenching the stigmatization of periods? Second, does it further enable manufacturers' ability to exploit it?
Or, is it merely a revolutionary means of avoiding TSS (Toxic Shock Syndrome) and what Elissa Stein, co-author of Flow: The Cultural Story of Menstruation refers to as ‘menstrual mortification’?
Either way, you decide, because the question still remains: would you wear a Bluetooth tampon?
READ MORE: Grazia Debate: Should Menstrual Leave Be Company Policy?