15 Things You Only Know If You’re An Older Mum

Opinion

15 Things You Only Know If You’re An Older Mum

Being an older mum isn’t nearly as odd as it once was. It’s getting more common to see women having a baby into their late 30s and their 40s – particularly in London – but it can still be a surprise to some people that you’ve dared to have a baby after you’ve become officially ancient i.e after 35. Especially when the Daily Mail constantly reminds us how impossible it is.

I’m sure other ‘older’ mums might be able to relate to some of the following…

1. All the other new mums you meet seem to assume you’re within the standard ‘baby window’ of 26-33

You are not within that window. Should you tell people? Does it matter? Age is just a number!

2. Your cultural references can go a little over your new friend’s heads

That girl who laughed at your Saved by the Bell reference is definitely your new BFF.

3. You’re forced to develop a stock reaction to the surprised looks you get when you reveal your age…

It’s either a half embarrassed laugh, or a ‘what are you trying to say’ sort of stare. Your choice.

4. You can spend hours debating whether ‘I had no idea you were that old’ is a compliment

Hint: It’s (usually) meant to be, but ultimately it’s not…

5. You have to sit through endless sessions comparing Instagram Stories and weird-looking pictures on something called ‘Snapchat’

Life is too short to force yourself to understand this ‘Snapchat’ thing. It will surely pass.

6. The tiredness is a mental and physical struggle

Younger mums can’t feel this tired…. surely nobody else in the world could possibly feel this tired?

7. Having spent the past two decades arranging everything just as you like it, from your house to your body to your spare time, you now have to relinquish your hold on every single one of these things

Your beautiful house now resembles a bomb site, your social life consists of chatting to the Sainsbury’s delivery man, and your body? That’s been beyond your control since the birth.

8. Transitioning from respected, senior figure in the workplace to CEO (Chief Excretions Officer) of the homestead takes some serious getting used to

But now you know being a mum is just as tough as running a boardroom meeting.

9. Your baby is the best excuse ever not to have to go out

Especially when the majority of going out which doesn’t involve comfy seats and outlandishly expensive drinks lost its appeal long ago.

10. Over the age of 35, baby weight will just not shift

But breastfeeding and brownies go together like Kylie and Jason.

11. All your news notifications go unread – you have an urgent need to Google ‘green baby poo’

Let’s face it, Googling ‘green baby poo’ is more fun than the news these days anyway.

12. You’ve got a lot more belief in yourself than you had earlier on in life, with an added dose of IDGAF

Both of which are amazing assets for motherhood – you need all the self-confidence you can muster. Especially when you’re whipping a boob out solo in Caffé Nero.

13. You’ve also got a ton of great life advice

You find yourself dispensing some useful-nuggets of wisdom you’ve stored up along the way to your new friends like a wise old owl.

14. You feel incredibly lucky

The chances are that by now you’ve seen someone you’re close to struggle to have a child, for whatever reason. This means you really actually appreciate what a little miracle your baby is every single day.

15. You finally realise that the best things are worth waiting for

And this really is the best thing of all in your whole long life to date.

READ MORE: 18 Things No One Tells You About Having A Baby In Your Early-20s

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