A new app promises access to your partner’s texts, emails and location, but writer Emily Eades warns it can become an obsession.
Your partner climbs out of bed to shower, leaving his phone temptingly on the bedside table. You know his passcode – you’ve ‘casually’ glanced over and have it logged. You trust him, sure, but he does tilt his phone away when sending a message. And last week he said he was at the gym but you swear you could smell beer on him. A quick look wouldn’t hurt. Would it?
Step forward mCouple, a new app developed by US surveillance firm mSpy. As long as both parties have downloaded it, you can GPS track your boyfriend, read his Facebook messages and access his contacts, phone logs and texts. So is this really a road we want to go down?
I had a long-distance relationship that was passionate and amazing when we were together, and filled with suspicion when we were apart. What started as an innocent flick to ‘see what he was up to’, soon became me trawling through emails and trying to crack his Facebook password. The lowest, most excruciating point came when I found an email he’d sent to a woman he’d met through work. It was clear that they’d not only shared a few drinks but also – it appeared – a kiss. My boyfriend was asking her out on a date, but instead of confronting him – how could I admit to trawling through his private messages?
I set up an email account and started replying as ‘her’. Our exchange went on for weeks, before I finally relished in ‘exposing’ him. It makes my stomach knot thinking about it now. Never mind his infidelity, who was this person sneaking around trying to catch him out? I barely recognised myself. Unbelievably, it took several more months before we eventually split up, and it was predictably hideous. While mCouple claim their app allows you to ‘protect’ your partner, the reality is that it will encourage the worst in all of us.
Spying on someone only fuels insecurities. It always ends in tears. And, more pertinently, mCouple won’t stop cheaters anyway. Thankfully, I’m now a happy newly-wed, in a partnership where loyalty and trust rank high on our agenda. I wouldn’t dream of checking his phone because I know the damage it would do. We live in an age where hook-ups, dates and taxis are all at our fingertips, but there remain a few precious things that can’t be downloaded – and trust is one of them. So next time your partner leaves his phone unattended, ask yourself this: what type of relationship do you want to have?