As a big fat liberal journalist, I’ve been told over and over in recent months to get out of my echo chamber. To hear from the alt-right and those who support them, to understand their reasoning for voting for Donald Trump.
But, honestly, f**k that. I don’t want to hear twisted post-fact facts and entrenched bigotry from idiots, and that’s why I’ve long since deleted them from my Facebook profile, and happily block the eggs on Twitter.
So I don’t know why I still watch Good Morning Britain. I come away from Piers Morgan’s sofa condescension brimming with rage and itchy with indignation. Actually, I decided to quit the habit that first week of January, when Piers had Nigel Farage on his sofa for a Trump love-in that made me literally nauseous.
But after an amazing weekend celebrating the Women’s March, I tuned back in. I wanted to hear what Piers Morgan had to say about his own Twitter comments like, ‘I’m planning a ‘Men’s March’ to protest at the creeping global emasculation of my gender by rabid feminists.’ And then I watched him prove why things like the Women’s March matter so much.
He was pushy and aggressive during the segment, constantly interrupting his three female experts and co-presenter, Susanna Reid. He barely let them speak before he barged back in with his un-asked-for opinions. I’m petty AF, so I actually counted it all up. After introductions, Susanna got 27 seconds total. Feminist writer Ella Whelan got to speak for 80 seconds all in. The chair of Women and Equalities Committee, Maria Miller, and Women’s Equality Party leader Sophie Walker both got approx. 65 seconds each.
Piers Morgan spoke/mansplained for 255 seconds. He talked for more than all four EXPERTS combined. And it wasn’t just that, he also interrupted his guests a total of 34 times during the eight-minute interview.
Yet he had the audacity to tell Sophie Walker off for interrupting him, and tell her, ‘You just want to keep talking and you don’t want a man to have his say.’ And when Susanna pleaded with him to ‘Let Sophie have her say’, he grudgingly relented, warning her, ‘Make it snappy’ (he interrupted her again moments later).
And the ridiculous thing was that he’d already SO VERY MUCH HAD HIS SAY. On Saturday – the day of the march – he tweeted 163 times (yes, I counted – always remembering that I am petty AF). While women – and men, thank you – around the world were connected in a peaceful protest of the policies and attitudes of the new US President, Piers Morgan spent his entire day goading, sniping, patronising and slamming people down for not having as many Twitter followers as him. His bloated arrogance suffocated anyone who tried to challenge him.
It started at 9.06am – by which time he was already on his 17th tweet of the day.
‘Imagine if there were a load of men-only marches today? The feminists would go crackers.’
He was getting into the swing of things by his 25th tweet:
‘I find the whole concept of 'Women's March' absurd. But enjoy your day.’
By his 28th tweet, he’d already hit peak troll:
‘I'm planning a 'Men's March' to protest at the creeping global emasculation of my gender by rabid feminists. Who's with me?’
His 43rd tweet included a touch of bigotry, in response to a man asking him if he was feeling emasculated:
‘Are you wearing mascara in that profile pic, Will?’
The 56th tweet failed to understand the point of democracy:
‘Let's be honest, ladies.. today's Women's March is just an anti-democratic protest at Trump winning the presidency.’
Reaching 83 tweets, he pre-emptively slutshamed Madonna:
Has 'free blowjobs if you vote Hillary' Madonna turned up yet to explain why Trump's a sleazebag? #womensmarch’
By 94, he was going strong with some classic whataboutery:
‘My Men's March will start by the Saudi, not US, embassy. We will show our masculine strength by protesting at THEIR treatment of women.’
At 98 tweets he turned on his co-host, who’d tweeted him, ‘You know you sit next to a feminist every morning, right?’ by challenging her:
‘Are you marching today then?’
Number 108 was when he tried out justification:
‘I love strong women. Most of the ones I know don't feel the need to go on a pointless generic march.’
That classic trope ‘rabid feminists’ arrived along with his 128th tweet:
‘I love women. Not a big fan of rabid feminists.’
He’d run out of ideas at 133:
‘I only have an issue with rabid feminists.’
135 was a bit embarrassing:
‘UPDATE: I am cancelling my Men's March against male gender emasculation. My wife's banned me from going.’
MP Ed Miliband stepped in around 141, asking ‘Is this a parody account?’ to which Piers replied aggressively:
‘You still alive mate? Great news’
Reaching an exhausted 159th tweet, an increasingly desperate Piers tried the IT WAS JUST A JOKE line:
‘People actually thought I was genuinely planning a Men's anti-emasculation March. This is how dumb social media has become.’
Oh, and he also managed to have a row with singer Lily Allen, who he called a ‘spoiled brat’. All in all, it was a good day, well spent for Piers Morgan.
He has decided to join the land of hate-journalism – the Katie Hopkins school of making money by being awful – and it is popular. It can’t be allowed to stand without challenge. It’s important to laugh at him, but it’s also important to remember the way this man speaks about, and to, women is the reason we need to keep marching. And if that makes me a rabid feminist (eye roll), I’m cool with that.
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