Alot of stuff happens when the weather changes suddenly. Like, when a STORM HITS, or, hmm, IT SNOWS...
Everyday life becomes a little more exciting. But then things take doubly long, and everyone gets a little irate, and your wardrobe takes on an altogether more haphazard look (not in a good way). The novelty of it wears off very quickly.
Still, a lot of stuff happens nonetheless. Stuff like this...
1.) Everyone talks about it
Everyone.
The guy at Costa.
The underground tannoy.
The person on their phone barging past you in the street.
Every single person in your office.
Everyone you know on Facebook.
And Instagram.
And Twitter.
Your family.
Your friends.
You...
2.) It takes ten times longer to get dressed in the morning
Dressing for 'adverse weather conditions' is a mission. If snow is forecast, do you wear your snow boots, you ponder? Or stick to trusty Timberlands? Or those Nike trainers with the good grip? Do you wear tights under your trouser suit? Or thermals under your pencil skirt?
You know it will be roughly 100º C in the office whatever the weather, so any extra layers – all 10,000 of them – must be easily removeable, lest a severe case of office sweats set in.
Really, there's a lot to think about. And the 20 minutes you have reserved for it first thing, just ain't long enough.
3.) Every mode of transport ever invented breaks down
It could be the bus taking you a meagre 10 minutes up the road. Or the deepest, darkest underground tube that has never seen daylight (or weather, ever). It doesn't matter. Whatever mode of transport you have planned to travel on, take comfort in this: it won't work.
4.) A plus point to this is you have an excuse to arrive late to the office
5.) A minus point to this is that you are then also late getting home
And have to cancel social plans. All of them.
6.) That said, you appreciate the underground tunnels more than ever
Because they provides warm (ish) shelter from the gail...
7.) Your umbrella will fail you when you need it most
It might have lasted months. Nay, years! (No, not years, let's be honest here...) So, yes, months. But when harsh weather hits, and you're all dressed up for dinner and need only to cross the main road under its canopy, THAT is the time it chooses to pull out its signature move: the inside-out flip. It leaves you weaving across the road. Like you're drunk. Flying a kite.
8.) Wet feet become the norm
And all your shoes take on an odour of damp. You contemplate wearing plastic bags over them when stepping out into the storm, but then you realise you're not Richard E Grant in Withnail And I, and would that even work?
9.) Forget straightening your hair
In fact, forget your hair altogether. Just shove it under the biggest beanie you own – or, like, a bath cap.
10.) You discover your inner rage
And you aim it at the white van man who drove past at 100mph, splashing you with that puddle. Some of your most inventive expletives get airtime in that moment.
11.) You conclude the way to get through it is to find a new job that pays better
Because the only way to avoid the sodden crowds on the high street is to have your own driver, correct?
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