If you could choose any celeb to go drinking with, who would you pick?
Frankly, if you said anyone other than Alan Carr, you’re wrong.
We chatted to the chatty man about boozing, New Year chez Carr and Bobby Norris’ “cock-hammock”.
And it seems that pretty much any drink is fair dink-um so far as Alan’s concerned, as long as you’re prepared for what will happen next.
“With whiskey I get violent,” Alan told us.
"On white wine I get horny, gin I get upset, then red wine I get sleepy.
So, New Year round Alan’s must be a right hootenanny, right?
“There was a time when I’d start drinking in the afternoon and it’d get to 9pm and you’d be slumped down, sick down you, going, ‘I can’t be bothered to go out’.
“So now I have to bide my time, we have friends round the house, everyone makes a playlist and then someone will be sitting on the decks all night with the playlist.
“The thing is at the end of Chatty Man I get to keep all the ratty drinks from the globe so I just take them home and it’s like rainbows, all the different colours coming out. “
And, err, Bobby Norris from TOWIE’s ball bag?
“I need one of those cock hammocks that Bobby had,”
Alan told us.
“He’s wonderful. He filmed a sketch with me for my New Year’s Specstacular where we do a pastiche of 50 Shades Of Grey.
“I’m Gemma Collins, Lord Sugar is Christian Grey and he’s a sex slave.”
heat sets Specstacular reminder on Sky box
What a guy. Alan was talking to us from his Yap Yap Yap! tour bus.
Would you like to see a little clip of his well funny stand-up show? You can. HERE:
And if you want a little Alan Carr in your living room this Christmas, you can buy a DVD of the tour, or get it on Blu-Ray or via digital download, if you're fancy.