We rilly bloody love Calvin Harris. And not just ‘cos of his music (though that’s aite), but because of just how GREAT he is in general life.
Firstly, there’s the peen. How could we not mention the peen? It's up there with Alex Bowen (HUGE peen), Gaz Beadle (HUGE parsnip) and Lewis Bloor (ENORMOUS AND HAIRLESS peen), with our fave celebrity peens.
Then there’s that time he went on a Snapchat rant and told everyone they were a plant. We have literally no idea WTAF he was banging on about, but he was topless!
He basically said utter nonsense like: "I'm just out here getting exactly 15 minutes of sun. It's all you need. Use the sun's energy, become a better person with the sun on your side."
And it carried on like that for quite a while – we won’t include it all because we get confused just reading it.
But he was topless, basically.
Then there was that time he PARTAYED with Kim Kardashian and JLO (which is basically the coolest thing a human can possibly do) after Kimye had that mega feud with his ex Taylor Swift.
We could go on.
And now it’s been revealed that he’s absolutely lovin’ the independent single life - which we think is a fab attribute in a person.
His pal John Newman has claimed that he’s never been in a better place following the break up and losing out for Best Male Video at the VMAs (a song Tay Tay co-wrote).
He told The Sun: “He doesn’t need anybody. His emotions are so strong, he’s so strong minded.
“He’s a one-man train who is never going to stop. The limits are literally endless for him.
“What he’s done is nothing compared to what he can do. That’s the scary thing, how far this really could go for him.”
YES, CALVIN.
Though if you ever change your mind about the not needing anyone thing, we’re RIGHT HERE.