This year’s Great British Bake Off has been absolutely scandalous since it hit our screens eight weeks ago. As well as realising we are deeply in love with Selasi Gbormittah, and then getting our hearts broken after learning that he’s already taken, we had to say goodbye to Benjamina last week which, tbf, was ALMOST as sad as finding out Steph and Dom have quit Gogglebox.
Plus, we’ve had to deal with all the DRAMZ that came with the show’s move over to Channel 4 – and with the nations grandma, Mary Berry, sticking with the Beeb, who’s going to take her place as Paul Hollywood’s baking buddy? And will ANYONE be able to make as many innuendos as Mel and Sue?
We highly doubt it. But Richard Ayoade, aka bespectacled nerd from the IT Crowd, MAY be able to salvage it.
And all of the build-up, the sweat, the tears, the undeniably phallic bread, has accumulated over the last TWO MONTHS (how the hell has it been that long already?) and tonight it’s the semi - FINALS, you filthy minded cretins.
As well as spending our entire Wednesday wondering what colour lipstick Candice will wear, we’re now going to be watching it and thinking about her absolute FITLORD of a brother.
Because, fans of bake off and the male face alike, there’s a hot newbie in our lives and his name is Ben Brown.
Form an orderly queue, people.
We should have known that Candice and her sibling would both share the same HAWT DNA, but we weren’t prepared for the fact that he’d also be hanging around with none other than Calvin Harris. THE Calvin Harris, who might be exposing all on his break-up with Taylor Swift VERY soon.
Although he only set up his Twitter this month, he’s already got a follow from Selasi (WELL JEL) and has been tweeting sweet little messages of support for his big sister.
Fit AND nice. Watch out, Selasi, you’ve got competition.