Geordie Shore’s Abbie Holborn rates Scotty T in bed

There are many things we look for in a romantic partner: kindness to old people and animals, political views, never, ever, EVER, wearing sliders.

But sometimes the base animal inside us kicks in and we just really want them to be good between the sheets.

So we’re thrilled that Abbie Holborn from Geordie Shore has jumped on the Katy Perry bandwagon and rated her (former?) cast mate Scotty T for sex.

And her verdict?

“Average,” she told The Sun.

Well, we guess he has gone for quantity rather than quality over his Geordie Shore career. Perhaps a lesson here. Perhaps not.

But could Scott and Abbie get some more practice in?

“Who knows what the f8cking future holds for me and Abbie. I probably will see her on the outside, I probably won’t. I’m a bit of a busy boy. But her fanny and my pipe will meet again,” he gushed to MTV’s confession cam.

It’s like beautiful poetry.

In other Geordie Shore news: Marnie Simpson has caused waves in the Big Brother house by suggesting she’s up for another show romance.

“Marnie fancies wossiname,” bellowed Gemma Collins as she, Marns and Nicola McLean descended on the diary room during last night’s show.

“Kieran [Lee]!”

“He’s easy on the eye,” conceded Marns.

“I would [snog him] but I feel that girl’s really hung up on him and I couldn’t do that.”

Who could she mean? [cough] Rebecca Jane [cough].

And it’s nice to see that Marns is so behind girl code. It’s not like she did the dirty on Charlotte Crosby and got with Gary Beadle, is it?

Hang on.

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