One-time Playboy model and Hugh Hefner's ex-girlfriend Holly Madison has written a brand new book about her time in the Playboy Mansion, and reveals she felt suicidal at times while she was there.
Holly was once Hef's number one live-in girlfriend when she lived in the Mansion from 2001 to 2009, but says the magazine magnate no longer speaks to her and she has "no loyalty" towards him now.
In the book, she describes Hef as "a man old enough to be my grandfather" and talks about contemplating drowning herself in the bath.
"Would he even miss me? No, I was certain I was just another warm body - as we all were. 'Just another blonde,' I could hear him say," she writes.
"Maybe it was the pot and the alcohol, but drowning myself seemed like the logical way to escape the ridiculous life I was leading."
Holly, who is now 35, is now married to Pasquale Rotella and has a two-year-old daughter, Rainbow Aurora, but alleges there was drug use and emotional abuse rife at the Playboy Mansion.
She claims Hef tried to get her to stay during her unhappy times by "buying her" – offering to put her in his will.
"The will stated that $3,000,000 would be bestowed to Holly Madison at the time of his death (provided I still lived in the Mansion)," her book claims.
"At the time, it was more money than I’d ever know what to do with… But I didn’t want it. I actually pitied him for stooping to that level. I couldn’t help but be offended. Did he really think he could buy me? I put the folder back on the bed just as I had found it and never breathed a word of it."
Holly's book,* Down The Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures And Cautionary Tales Of A Former Playboy Bunny*, is out now.
Top 20 best dressed of the week! Starring Victoria Beckham, Jessica Alba and Miranda Kerr
Top 20 best dressed of the week! Starring Victoria Beckham, Jessica Alba and Miranda Kerr
1 of 20Alexa Chung
Making us want a pinafore dress allllll over again, Alexa's laidback Stella McCartney look is gorge
2 of 20Gemma Chan
The cutest stripy shift we think we've ever seen (not to mention the shiniest hair), Gemma dresses hers down with pointy flats
3 of 20Ellie Kemper
The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt star Ellie looks super sweet in this floral Michael Kors midi
4 of 20Harley Viera-Newton
HVN looks super sweet in her denim Stella McCartney dress thanks to some amazing '50s styling
5 of 20Chanel Iman
Showing off what can only be described as an AMAZING bod in a fishtail maxi and matching crop top
6 of 20Dree Hemingway
Heavy denim, chunky chains and boyish accessories look totally amazing on Dree
7 of 20Kate Hudson
Giving Sporty Spice a run for her money in this cool crop and flowy skirt. We're suddenly inspired to purchase some retro red shades too
8 of 20Miranda Kerr
Rocking summer cool in a loose white t-shirt dress, skater sneakers and candy tote
9 of 20Laura Whitmore
Putting a modern twist on the '70s trend in this chic striped knit dress and gold accessories
10 of 20Dakota Johnson
Vintage loafers and retro make-up give this nude lacy shift a new lease of life
11 of 20Emmy Rossum
The dress (and the photo) of dreams, Emmy's floor-sweeping Carolina Herrera gown is the epitome of perfection
12 of 20Naomie Harris
Hot (probably literally too) in an asymmetric-hem navy leather mini
13 of 20Nikki Reed
Newly married Nikki looked all sunkissed and lovely at The Today Show in her cold-shoulder midi and chic pumps
14 of 20Victoria Beckham
We're loving VB's recent colour pop wardrobe, and this pink and white skirt from her own collection (obvs) is the perf summer skirt
15 of 20Zoe Saldana
Super pretty in a floaty poppy print midi paired with Hollywood waves
16 of 20Zoey Deutch
Channelling the '90s in the best possible way in this hot white Alexander Wang mini and pared back beauty
17 of 20Rochelle Humes
Rochelle's gorgeous red-carpet makeover continues in this Mary Katrantzou scenic print midi
18 of 20Olivia Wilde
Teaming the most flowery summer maxi with red strappy platforms and a cool biker jacket gives Liv instant fash points
19 of 20Ophelia Lovibond
This floral maxi and crop-top combo are the perfect red-carpet alternative to a prom dress
20 of 20Jessica Alba
Mixing up this summer's hottest trends in a floral wide-legged '70s jumpsuit paired with stacked platforms