If he were real, of course.
Ever wondered what Harry Potter would be doing on his 35th birthday?
And yes, Daniel Radcliffe is 26 YEARS OLD, don't forget J. K. Rowling didn't write a book about him, but we forgive you for getting confused.
In light of HARRY POTTER'S BIRTHDAY, a huge fan, with an over imaginative mind, spoke of what he'd be doing today. Harry, not the fans.
Appaz our favourite wizard is tucked away in a 'pleasantly cluttered' house in Hertfordshire. Or somewhere like that.
Rowling gave her favourite character the same birthday as her, naturally, so as well as Harry turning 35, Rowling is 50 today. Happy bornday to you both!
The Telegraph fan continues to describe Harry's now-not-so-illustrious life, as: "It’s the summer holidays now, so James, Albus and Lily are all back home. Before he's even able to put on his wire-framed, round glasses, Harry is woken up by them. Specifically, he’s woken up by a floating cake – a fun charm by Ginny, who has inherited her mother’s impressive domestic skills.
"Unfortunately, it brings back unpleasant memories for Harry, who at 15 risked expulsion from Hogwarts, after Dobby the House Elf dropped a cake on a family friend (an illegal use of underage magic for which he must take responsibility)."
Hazza is happy to be 35 today.
More clever Potter fans decoded the year of Harry's birth, as there's no mention of the exact date in Rowling's books, using 'Nearly Headless Nick's Death Day'.
In Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets, Harry, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley are celebrating Nearly Headless Nick's 500th Deathday – the anniversary of the fateful day when his head was nearly chopped off – on October 31st.
Nick says the incident happened in 1492, count forward 500 years and it means Harry was 12 years old in October 1992 - count back 12 years and voila it's 1980. Clever things.
So although we'd rather imagine Harry getting drunk with pal Ron, drinking a few bruskis and catching up all night, Harry is enjoying the family life he always dreamt of as a child, which is nice too.
On his day, he'd have received lots of deliveries from friends, Hermione and Ron - now a married couple with two children - Hagrid, and his in-laws, Molly and Arthur Weasley.
Rupert Grint (Ron), Daniel (Harry) and Emma Watson (Hermione).
Hazza would then have spent his day dealing with dark magical forces – and admin – 'they’ll all meet up at 12 Grimmauld Place for a bit of a party'.
People attending the partaay would be, 'The Scamanders, Newt and Luna and their twins Lorcan and Lysander and Neville and Hannah Longbottom and some friends from the Ministry of Magic'. Obvs.
Hermione would of course be very busy with her line of work - as deputy head of Department of Magical Law Enforcement - but she'd make an appearance too.
And after an awkward annual meet up with his cousin Dudly, Harry would head back home after his celebrations.
Harry spends his days flying around with his children, who all share the same love as their father, for the game Quidditch, who would attend regular matches together.
So there you go, magic-in-TOW, Harry is just a regular dad, doing regular birthday party bits and getting gifts and cards from friends and family.