At the start of her new music video, Snooki proclaims: "You're not ready for this one." This was the understatement of the year.
Belting out lyrics to rival John Lennon's Imagine, she monotonously opens with: "I used to be so wild, I was the life of the party."
She then dances around with her confused-looking children, saying things like: "Now I'm all grown up so now they call me mummy," "I'm a mummy with attitude" and "It's all love because I'm a proud mumma." We're now fairly sure we're going to have nightmares of our parents doing the same thing. THANKS, SNOOKI!
The video is just so unbelievably eventful that we can't even begin to describe it further – so it's probably just best to watch it yourself…
The vid is almost more alarming than the news that she made a baby with her husband while he was driving down the highway. Almost.
We quite literally have no idea what kind of message she's trying to put across – that she's got happy kids? That she's successful? That she's at the start of the road to a long and fruitful music career? None are particularly convincing.
But perhaps the most unsettling thing of the whole affair is the three unidentified dancing children dressed in tutus and feather bowers – who are they? Why are they there? Why did their parents agree to this? SO. MANY. QUESTIONS.
Now we think about it, we think they're from Dance Moms. That answers the last question...
As the video draws to a close, there's a slow, haunting, almost surreal-sounding piano. This confused us even more – was it real? Did we imagine the entire thing? WHO CAN BE SURE?
But we're NGL, we actually kinda enjoyed it…