Oh, Kanye, you hopeless romantic! Picture of your new wife in a thong? Sure!
"So let me get this straight, sir – you want me to paint a portrait of your almost-naked soon-to-be-wife wearing nothing but a cheese-slicer G-string and heels with the words 'Perfect Bitch' in multicolour cursive running up the side?" "Imma let you finish, but yeah. It's art." "…" "Can you add 'My Queen Kim' up the other side too?" "I… uh, sure."
That's how we imagined Kanye West's conversation with street artist Bambi went anyway, because the rapper reportedly surprised his new bride Kim Kardashian with a semi-pornographic portrait of herself as his wedding present to her.
According to the Mirror, Kanye commissioned the art work for a fee stretching into five figures as a surprise for Kim – and wants to hang it on their bedroom wall far away from prying eyes so he can stare at her painted butt as much as he wants.
Bambi's manager Leonard Villa explained how Kanye's brief was short and sweet – apparently he told the artist to make something "regal but typically Kim".
"This has been done on metal and just completed in time for the couple’s return," he added.
"It was a recent commission and Bambi has turned it around in three weeks. The request came through an agent and the fee is in five figures. So far it's a one-off but we weren't told the image had to remain exclusive, so she could have more in the pipeline."
Well hopefully when Kimye take the next logical step and open a museum dedicated to themselves, we can all get ourselves a print of Kim's thong-clad arse for the excellent price of £29.99 plus a couple of pencils with an eraser in the shape of Kanye's head.