Lewis Bloor is crap in bed but has a MASSIVE WILLY (apaz)

So, swings and roundabouts

CBB Lewis Bloor

by Polly Foreman |
Published on

Lewis Bloor has successfully delivered us probably the most boring romance in Celebrity Big Brother history. His relationship with Marnie Simpson, which may or may not be a showmance (it probably is), has been dull and predictable AF.

Marnie Simpson Lewis Bloor
©Channel 5

In their defence, there has been quite a lot going on to overshadow them…

We hope for Marnie's sake it is all for the cameras, because an ex of Lewis has said he's terrible in bed. Um, bitter much?

Read more: Everything you could ever want to know about Lewis Bloor

She told the Daily Star that he has a big peen but doesn't know how to use it – which really is a terrible combo.

Lews Bloor

Hmm... It's no Alex Bowen from Love Island's thats for sure...

“He has massive willy, but he has no idea how to use it. It’s huge. Shame it’s a waste as he’s a shit shag," she told the tabloid.

If you thought this old flame wouldn't deem it necessary to go into any more detail, you'd be very wrong.

“It’s not that it was quick" she continued, "it’s just that when it’s that big you don’t need to keep pushing it that much. It wasn’t enjoyable. And it hurt.”

Nightmare…

And the ex seemed to agree with the showmance claims.

"He doesn’t like her [Marnie] and I don’t think she likes him. They’re just using each other. They know exactly what makes headlines."

And Lewis may well be discovering the crushing news about his bedroom skills imminently – as he's up for eviction. Plus, his relationship with Marnie seems to be alienating the rest of the house.

When the lovebirds were sitting outside enjoying a picnic in the sun (alone…) Lewis said: “For some reason no one’s got anything to say to me I don’t know why.

Marnie Simpson Lewis Bloor

“I think because you’re in here and all I really care about is looking after you and myself.

“I’m putting myself in the position where people can have a go at me. Not intentionally.”

Marnie Simpson Lewis Bloor

Err… Maybe because you don’t care about them, Lewis?

Celebrity Big Brother continues tonight at 9pm on Channel 5

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