Celebrity Big Brother romances are all well and good, but they’re always a bit f*cking predictable Marnie Simpson and Lewis Bloor are a classic case
They tend to be between two young, good-looking, single people who run in similar circles – and we were kinda hankering for something unexpected. Marnie and Grant Bovey, maybe, or Lewis and Heavy D?
OR STEPHEN BEAR AND RENEE GRAZIANO.
Luckily for us, Renee came onto Bear in last night’s episode and answered all our prayers.
They were standing in the living room chatting about Saira Khan when started Renee stroking his face. She said seductively: “You’re drunk you should come to bed,” to which he replied: “I’m not coming.”
It’s worth pointing out that he was wearing a purple feather bower and mask throughout this whole exchange for a reason we can’t quite work out. We don’t think anyone else was dressed up?
Anyway, Renee then continued: “come and snuggle with me and Frankie” (was Frankie REALLY there Renee?).
He then asked her what she was after, and said: “I’m not going to sleep I’m the last one to go to bed every night.” SOLID EXCUSE BEAR.
Much of what he said next was fairly incomprehensible (Renee was right, he probably should’ve gone to bed), but it was something along the lines of “You ain’t getting it from me in here at all the whole time we’re here” and “there’s no way I’m going to sleep the whole night with you.” He also said he wasn’t going to kiss anyone in the house.
She responded by hugging him and saying: “I would expect if you were it would be me “
AHHHHHHH.
If it hadn’t turned out that Renee is apparently a biphobic dick, we’d be all for this weird romance.
Bear then runs out to the smoking area (still in feather bower), where Lewis says: “at least we both pulled – you got your missus and I got my missus.”
Predictably, little Bear didn’t like that much, and said he would kiss Marnie if he wanted– which opened ANOTHER can of worms.
Bear’s night ended like all good ones do – sat alone in the garden talking to himself and minesweeping drinks.
We imagine they all had a very regretful hangover day.