I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! is baaaaack, with more pizzaz than Britney Spears' crotch grabbing performance at the VMAS and more excitement than the Christmas sandwich selection in M&S.
What could be more entertaining than watching your favourite shleebs have spiders poured over their heads or watching them fling themselves out of an airplane looking like they had eaten out-of-date chicken?
NOTHING.
So, the spoilers. OBV, don't carry on reading if you don't like spoilers and like to watch tv like a grown-up (SNORE).
Read the (spoiler-free) full I'm a Celeb Line up and make yourself a cup a soup instead.
Still here? GOOD.
- So, the ten celebrities were split into two. (Not literally, this isn't the Walking Dead, but into two teams.) The City Celebs and the Jungle Celebs. Sounds a lot like band names Louis Walsh would dream up.
- On arrival they are told they automatically face a BUSHTUCKER TRIAL. Brilliant.
- However, Ant & Dec are understandable fellas and gave the celebrities a lifeline. Each celebrity has to pick someone from the opposite team who they think can successfully complete a challenge on their behalf. If their nominated celeb completes their challenge, then they potentially are saved from doing a dreaded Bushtucker Trial.
Ooooooh.
- What are these challenges, you ask? The City Celebs took part in 'Walk the Plank' and the Jungle Celebs had a go at either a Skydive or Canoe challenge.
Idk about you, but the canoe challenge floats our boat an awful lot more than the other two.
- Carol Vorderman is the first to enter the jungle and proclaims 'I want to move here!' R U OK HUN?
- The celebs realise that Joel has previously hosted a show, where a man painted pictures using a paintbrush which had been shoved into in his..er 'wang'. We would show you the video but it's NSFW/will put you COMPLETELY off your smushed avocado on toast. Caroline Vordeman may be the cleverest lady ever, but is still happy to get on board with some peen chat and replies 'is that what it's called these days?'
- Scarlett Mofatt and Larry Lamb are flown together in a helicopter and are nominated to do the canoe challenge.
- Scarlett instantly regrets her sartorial efforts and wails, 'I'm really regretting my choice of outfit,' which appaz is a silky dress. Has Scarlett, aka queen of tele, ever SEEN the show?! It's a jungle? Scar babes.
- Scarlett, on her upcoming canoe challenge, 'I've been on a pedalo but that's where my skills start and end'. Loool.
- Lisa Snowden jumps out of a helicopter and shouts 'That was terrific!'
- It begins to get stormy in camp. No, we don't mean they start arguing over lentils, but literal thunder and lightening.
Pathetic fallacy perhaps? Or maybe an indicator of what’s to come? Dun dun dun.
We are so EXCITED.
Watch I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here! Sunday 13th November at 9pm on ITV
Follow us on @heatworld where we will be live tweeting all the goss