In news even bigger than Lewis Bloor's enormous and hairless peen, it's been rumoured that he and Marnie Simpson have split.
We cried and cried and cried and cried, and thought we couldn't possibly be sadder about reality TV romance dissolutions.
BUT WHAT'S THIS? JOEY ESSEX AND STEPHANIE PRATT ARE OVER TOO?
This is basically the worst Monday of our lives.
Their relationship was really kind of weird, but also still kind of worked in a weird kind of way.
BUT IT'S NO MORE.
A source said: "Joey wasn't up for spending every minute in Chelsea with Stephanie.
"He genuinely fell for her and even though they were an unlikely couple, he hoped it could turn into something more serious," they continued to The Sun.
"But he realised it was never going to work with him spending so much time away from home."
CRY CRY.
They got together on Celebs Go Dating after having a romantic snog in the pool. If ya don't remember, Celebs Go Dating was the best TV show to ever happen to TV.
We fell in love with the narrator, Tom the receptionist, Tyger Drew-Honey, MARLENE, that guy from Grimsby who lost his job in a fish factory after going on a date with Charlotte Crosby – basically everyone, really.
And we THOUGHT Steph and Joey found love too.
Particularly after they banged on about it so much in subsequent magazine interviews.
"I know it’s genuine, she knows it’s genuine. I trust her, she trusts me. It works and it’s perfect. I don’t care what anyone says or thinks," Joey said.
"It’s been a lot of pressure for us. We haven’t been able to walk down the street. We’ve been wearing massive hoodies!" he told OK! Magazine.
Steph continued: "I’m so happy I don’t have to look for the perfect guy any more. He fell right into my hands...I think he’s the hottest guy in the world."
In the words of Tyra Banks: "WE WERE ROOTING FOR YOU. WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU."