Say what you like about how f*cking fabulous this festive season is and how WONDERFUL it is you can FINALLY listen to Christmas songs for a whole entire month, but we can surely, SURELY, all agree that Christmas is a bit of a bloody nightmare.
We love it, but it is.
General present buying for friends and family contributes a bit to its nightmarish tendencies, but, specifically – what the AF do you do about the guy you're kinda-sorta-maybe seeing / having a thing with / shagging / Netflix and chillin' on the regs?
Will it be weird and forward to get him a gift? Or on the flipside will you look uninterested and a bit too aloof just ignoring him during the festive season?
So here's a list of ideas for the early stage boyfriend, the guy you can't quite buy a Larsson and Jennings watch for yet (because it'll freak him the f*ck out), but that you're hoping to do just that for next year ;););).
A Nando's gift card
Everyone knows Nando's is the IDEAL place for an early stage boyfriend date. You'll both go and make jokes about how you're having a "cheeky Nandos" together (rofl) and laugh about how funny and ironic you both are. Then you'll go home for a long, hard Netflix sesh.
Condoms
SAFETY FIRST, PEOPLE.
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A collection of scary films
Everyone knows scary films are the perfect excuse for maximum cuddle time, and even if the thought of watching one makes you want to throw yourself down a well like the girl from The Ring, you prob won't be watching much of it anyway ;););););););););). We recommend mixing the classic with current – think The Shining and Nerve.
A cool DVD
You can pretty much guarantee that any guy you're shagging probs either likes 90s Brit pop or pretends to so as to look edgy. Oasis: Supersonic on DVD is a good bet
£10
Tickets to something fancy
A gig? A PLAY? Some dodgy house music night you met at? We personally recommend having a hilariously ironic trip out to the Pantomime – Hackney Empire's is always a safe bet.
A nice hat
Bobble hats are adorable on any man – FACT. We recommend this one from Urban Outfitters, because it's trendy. And you want him to be trendy.
£20
A non-Netflix DVD boxset
Sometimes it's nice to take a break from Netflix and have a proper settle down on the sofa to binge watch a show WITHOUT having sex. Shocking, we know. We'd veer more toward the Game of Thrones side rather than Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
£69.99
Cards Against Humanity
If a Christmas Gift Guide doesn't have Cards Against Humanity on it, is it really a Christmas gift guide?
£25
A fancy aftershave
We know that a fancy aftershave is slightly on the pricier side, but you want your new guy to smell amazing, and you can hardly buy him Lynx Africa, now, can you? You're not in year 11 anymore.
We recommend Calvin Klein Obssession – ya can't go wrong with CK.
£46
A portable phone charger
Him having constant phone battery is ESSENTIAL to maximise your chances of getting that elusive text back (not a psycho, we swear) – so why not maximise your sexting potential with this?
We luuurve this robot one
£34.99
Nando's Extra Extra Hot sauce
This guy you're shagging might be one of those who orders lemon and herb spice but gets the Nando's staff to put an extra hot flag in to impress you (THIS IS ACTUALLY A THING). You can't put up with any lemon and herb rubbish in your life, you're better than that. TEST HIM WITH THIS.
£1.99
A crate of fancy IPA craft beer
A crate of trendy craft beer is just sooo much classier than some Carlsberg or a bucket of gin.
£39.99
A make your own beer set
He'll probably never use it, but you can't deny this is a bloody FANTASTIC present.
A bottle of whiskey
Whiskey tastes like actual rotten DEATH and no-one in their right mind but your granddad actually enjoys drinking it. But for some reason guys still insist on pretending they do. So a horrible, trendy bottle of Jack Daniels is a perfect gift.
£19
Amazon fire stick
Getting adventurous and fancy transferring your Netlifix watching (;);););)) from the bed to the sofa? Why not invest in one of these handy sticks that allow you to binge watch all your fave shows from your living room?
£44.95
An edgy cook book
What better accompaniment to a Netflix session than a nice tasty meal (cooked by him plz).
This one from Urban Outfitters is called Dirty Food, which will go perfectly with your dirty, dirty mind.
