Zayn Malik says he wanted to disappear when splitting from Perrie Edwards

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Zayn Malik

by Joel Cooper |
Published on

Zayn Malik might be all loved-up with supermodel Gigi Hadid nowadays, but cast your mind back to 2014 when he was still engaged to Perrie Edwards.

Remember those days? Well, Zayn has spilled the beans on exactly where his head was at while his relationship of four years was crumbling.

Spoiler alert: It wasn't good.

"I had been in a bad place for a while and I didn’t see myself getting out of it unless I made a change," he explains in his self-titled autobiography.

"My relationship with my fiancée, Perrie, was breaking down."

Zayn Malik Perrie Edwards

At the time, Zayn was linked to Lauren Richardson, who then went on to star in ITV's Love Island.

He denied accusations he had cheated on Perrie with Lauren, who he met while One Direction were touring in Thailand.

Zayn continued: "To make matters worse, there were so many crazy stories flying around in the newspapers about us, and it felt like such an invasion of privacy, it made me just want to disappear for a while."

Not only was his relationship with the Little Mix star in turmoil, but Zayn's growing feelings of uncertainty about his future with 1D were at an all-time high.

Zayn Malik
©Getty

"It happened that night in Hong Kong: literally, while I was going on-stage, I realised I wasn’t going to do it any more," he wrote.

"I wasn’t going to spend another minute doing something which made me ill and which I no longer believed in.

"I couldn’t see that there was anything left for me to give or to gain from staying. It wasn’t worth it."

And then came the decision that broke millions of hearts – Zayn decided to leave 1D.

"The memory of that night is kind of a blur, I was in f***ing bits, but I finally came to the realisation of something I already knew deep down, and had known for a very long time: I was leaving the band and going home."

We still wake up in cold sweats after dreaming about him quitting the group, so that's quite enough of that.

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