General election 2017 results as told by Love Island

Never have I through a field of wheat

Without sounding too self-depricating, politics can be confusing af. Hard Brexits, soft brexits, manifestos and majorities; we wouldn't be kidding anyone if we said we understand everything David Dimbleby declaims.

Do you know what we do know like the back of our hand, though? Love Island. So it only makes sense we break down exactly what happened through the islanders. Think sun, sex and SWINGING.

Swinging, like, the scale of voter change. Ya filthy bugger.

Let's relive some highlights, shall we?

1. Theresa May admits she once did something so naughty it only just made a pre-watershed ITV broadcast

Reminiscent of the islanders' game of Never Have I Ever, then.

Theresa - Dom hears your wheat field antics and raises you a fivesome.

2. Campaigning draws to a close. Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn can do no more

Their fate's now in the hands of the Great British public. Sort of like Montana and Jessica both vying for Dom's affections, but obviously loads less important.

3. Despite being deputy prime minister in the coalition circa 2010-15, Nick Clegg loses his Sheffield Hallam seat and is replaced by Labour candidate Jared O’Mara

Oh, how very Amber-leaving-Harley-for-Kem. Yup. Exactly the same.

4. As results come in, the country questions what this really means for Brexit

Meanwhile, Olivia doesn't see the fuss. Ibiza's its own country anyway, right? IBIZA DOESN'T EVEN NEED SPAIN. Hard Brexit, that's what she says.

5. With Labour stealing such shock constituencies as Kensington and Chelsea, it becomes apparent the posh one's set to be disappointed

Think Camilla and Jonny's date. Those levels of sheer, unprecedented disappointment.

6. As the Tories fail to gain the majority needed, a hung parliament's confirmed.


Something like that, anyway.


Guess how much Blazin' Squad's Spotify streams have increased post-Love Island?

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