Valentine's Day is universally considered to be an absolute bloody nightmare. Because you'll inevitably be one of three things.
Either in a relationship, to which Valentine's Day will probably bring disappointment and awkwardness as you're literally forced to go out and behave all loved up, romantic and happy on a day you'd ordinarily spend eating spaghetti together in bed. Probably. Maybe we're just weird and bitter.
Or you'll be single, and either not giving a fuck about being in a relationship and getting annoyed about all the people in the above category flooding your Instagram with rose pictures, or wishing you were in a relationship, and getting even more annoyed. Either way you'll be annoyed.
The third option, and arguably most nightmare-ish of them all, is that you've just started dating someone, only you haven't had 'the talk' yet. You're probably stuck in a rut of responding to anyone who asks about your relationship status with: "oh, you know, we're just kinda seeing each other and sorta having a thing and sleeping together type thing and it doesn't really have a label. I'm not sure – you know?"
So how do you deal with Valentine's Day when you're just Netflix and chilling? Let us advise.
Option #1 – Pretend it isn't happening
Let's be realistic. Valentine's is on a Tuesday this year. And nobody in their right minds has ever in their lives done anything on a Tuesday. Least of all Netflix and chill with their new squeeze. As you won't be seeing him, you can almost definitely get away with simply pretending Valentine's doesn’t exist! NB – this wouldn't work as well on a Saturday.
Option #2 – Go out with the girlies
By making a big deal about telling him you ALWAYS go out with da gals on Valentine's Day because it's TRADITION, you avoid any chance that he'll think you've blown him off intentionally – just make sure you have some single friends.
Option #3 – Plan an 'ironic' Valentine's date
"It's obviously way too early in the day to go on an actual romantic Valentine's date," you'll joke together, "but why don't we go to Franco Manca for a heart shaped pizza? It'll be a laff!!" You'll likely spend the evening joking that you're married couple and saying jovially stating you lurrrve each other. Which you probably do.
Option #4 – Say you have a family meal
Similar in vibe to option two, this one gets you out of any awkward conversations no questions asked.
Option #5 – Just stop being a baby and ask if he fancies doing something
Maybe we're just reading too much into all this Valentine's nonsense, TBH…
If you decide to do this, you may need to decide…
What do you buy the guy you've just started dating for Valentine's Day?
Here's a list of ideas for the early stage boyfriend, the guy you can't quite buy a Larsson and Jennings watch for yet (because it'll freak him the f*ck out), but that you're hoping to do just that for next year ;););).
Everyone knows Nando's is the IDEAL place for an early stage boyfriend date. You'll both go and make jokes about how you're having a "cheeky Nandos" together (rofl) and laugh about how funny and ironic you both are. Then you'll go home for a long, hard Netflix sesh.
SAFETY FIRST, PEOPLE.
A collection of scary films
Everyone knows scary films are the perfect excuse for maximum cuddle time, and even if the thought of watching one makes you want to throw yourself down a well like the girl from The Ring, you prob won't be watching much of it anyway ;););););););););). We recommend mixing the classic with current – think The Shining and Nerve.
A non-Netflix DVD boxset
Sometimes it's nice to take a break from Netflix and have a proper settle down on the sofa to binge watch a show WITHOUT having sex. Shocking, we know. We'd veer more toward the Game of Thrones side rather than Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
A fancy aftershave
We know that a fancy aftershave is slightly on the pricier side, but you want your new guy to smell amazing, and you can hardly buy him Lynx Africa, now, can you? You're not in year 11 anymore. We recommend Calvin Klein Obssession – ya can't go wrong with CK.
This guy you're shagging might be one of those who orders lemon and herb spice but gets the Nando's staff to put an extra hot flag in to impress you (THIS IS ACTUALLY A THING). You can't put up with any lemon and herb rubbish in your life, you're better than that. TEST HIM WITH THIS.
He'll probably never use it, but you can't deny this is a bloody FANTASTIC present.
A bottle of whiskey
Whiskey tastes like actual rotten DEATH and no-one in their right mind but your granddad actually enjoys drinking it. But for some reason guys still insist on pretending they do. So a horrible, trendy bottle of Jack Daniels is a perfect gift.
What better accompaniment to a Netflix session than a nice tasty meal (cooked by him plz).
This one from Urban Outfitters is called Dirty Food, which will go perfectly with your dirty, dirty mind.
Getting adventurous and fancy transferring your Netlifix watching (;);););)) from the bed to the sofa? Why not invest in one of these handy sticks that allow you to binge watch all your fave shows from your living room?