It's OK, we're here to get you through it
It’s that time of year again. The time that everyone comes together for the most important day of the year. It’s sparkly and it has angels, but it’s not exactly family friendly. No, we’re not talking about Christmas. We’re talking about the BIGGEST event of December. Yes, it’s The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.
Unless you’ve been hidden under a rock (we don’t blame you - we’re scared too), you will have seen the influx of Instagrams from our real life angels walking the runway on November 30. You may have also heard those dodgy rumours that Harry Styles walked the runway. But for those of us who couldn't hop on a plane to Paris, now is the time we finally get to watch in awe as The Weeknd, Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars serenade the super sexy six foot sirens. So how do we prepare for this momentous occasion? Funny you should ask because we’ve devised a list of seven things you MUST be doing in preparation for it.
Any alcohol will do. You deserve to take the edge off tonight, throw it in a shaker and mix it about. All that shaking is basically cardio, anyway, right? In fact, you might need to shot it to deal with the stress of watching the angels saunter down that runway in those crazy high heels that would have you falling over before you’ve even made it out the house.
Throw on your granny pants
Because if you can’t be in the Fantasy Bra, why bother at all? Bridget Jones had it right all along, ladies!
And your baggiest onesie
Same logic. Those pink dressing gowns look super uncomfy anyway. We know we’d rather be snuggled in our onesies than slipping about everywhere in a silk dressing gown. It’s like -3 degrees right now, so being in our fluffy pyjamas sounds a whole lot more appealing than freezing our nips off in the Grand Palais in Paris.
Clear a space for your signature runway walk
WHO can possibly watch an entire fashion show without strutting their stuff at some point? You’ve even got time to nip out and buy some fairy wings so you can go all out pretending to be Adriana Lima.
Grab a pillow to cringe behind
There’s just too many possibilities this year. There’s the age old, 'OMG SHE’S ABOUT TO FALL' which gives us anxiety year after year. But then there’s the massively awks elephant in the room that is The Weeknd and Bella Hadid coming face to face post break-up. We’ve already seen the pictures and honestly, as far as ex reunions go, they SMASHED it. These women must genuinely be hand-carved from diamonds to handle all of this shit so flawlessly.
Keep your side-pieces on speed dial
For that inevitable moment you see The Weeknd watch Bella make her final pose with so much pride in his eyes that you just need to call your almost-bae and pretend they’d do the same for you. In fact, make him watch you do your walk, and DROP HIM if he doesn’t look at you lovingly enough. This is the real husband test, ladies.
Buy tubs on tubs of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream
If you ever deserve a night off your diet, it’s tonight. You can cry into it watching all of the angel’s boyfriends cheer for them, or you can do what we’re doing and pretend this is a genuine holiday and therefore suitable for celebratory ice-cream and chocolate.
You can watch the show online now using Hayu.com! The show will air on television in the UK on 4Music on Monday December 12 at 8pm.