CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR TONIGHT'S SHOW
Forget Marnie Simpson and Lewis Bloor (they're boring AF and probably fake) – the most exciting Celebrity Big Brother romances are 100% stemming from Stephen Bear.
Romance is perhaps a bit of a grandiose term for that time Renee Graziano came onto him while he was dressed in a purple feather bower and looking frightened, but it was 100% the HIGHLIGHT OF THE SERIES.
In Tuesday night's episode, they were standing in the living room innocently discussing Saira Khan when Renee started stroking his face. "You're drunk you should come to bed," she seductively implored, to which he replied: "I'm not coming."
To cut a long story short, she kept persisting and he told her straight he wasn't going to get with her. He finished the night on his own in the garden talking to himself and minesweeping drinks. The way all good nights end.
His latest unexpected fling is with none other than CHLOE KHAN. We absolutely did not see this coming, but now we think about it it's the best thing we've heard all week.
Chloe Khan has had to deal with the borderline aggressive flirting of horrid Heavy D (even being forced to WASH HIS PANTS in a task), so we're pleased to hear she's getting it on with Bear – who has his flaws, but is A MILLION TIMES BETTER THAN HEAVY.
In a scene yet to be aired but available on the Celebrity Big Brother website (that we watched because we're keen AF), the two play a game of 21 Dares (WHAT IS IT WITH THIS HOUSE AND PRE-TEEN SLEEPOVER DARE GAMES?). Bear (slurring a little bit) dares her to snog him for 10 seconds.
.jpg?auto=format&w=1440&q=80)
She does, obv (WHO WOULDN'T, EH?), but she also says: "Renee will kick my face in!", which is a very reasonable concern.
Chloe later reiterates this (rather alarming) worry in the Diary Room, saying: "What have I done? I’ve just kissed Bear! Renee put her stamp on Bear… he has sex appeal but isn’t my type."
ISN'T BEAR EVERYONE'S TYPE?
The housemates play dares again later on (of course they do), and Lewis dares the two to snog again. They do. Obvs.
This all leads to a big old fight (mainly involving Renee and Heavy ofc), ending in Bear getting a warning from Big Brother.
All this mayhem continues tonight at 9pm on Channel 5.