Ever since Heavy D boomed his way into the Celebrity Big Brother house, we've been confused for a number of reasons. Firstly – who the f*ck is he? Secondly – did he really think his behaviour toward Chloe Khan is acceptable? And thirdly – HOW does he seem to think he's popular?!
And now we can add his perceived impending musical career to our list, as he has officially dropped his "single" in the house.
Good god.
And it's more awful than you can possibly imagine. With James Whale giving the beat (who better, eh?) Heavy D sings: "Come and lick my boomanator"
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?
Actually, we don't want to know.
The song is basically just him saying that over and over again, occasionally chiming in with "Cooey" and "BOOM".
It made us feel a little sick :(
His song garners mixed reviews from his fellow housemates – they basically exclaim things like "what the f*ck" repeatedly.
But Heavy himself has nothing but praise for it.
He says: "Some producer's gonna be out there f_cking creaming his pants saying 'f_ckig hell man, I can't wait till Heavy D get out man. We're gonna make some shit."
We would very much question the standing of any producer who came anywhere near him.
The kindest words (from someone other than Heavy) come from Lewis Bloor, who says: "I've heard worse tunes than that."
Heavy seems to take this as: "OMG BABE, YOU'E GONNA BE BIGGER THAN THE PRODIGY!" as he replies with: "That's what I'm saying! Of course! And do you know what… those big Ibiza house producers… they're friends with Big Brother..."
Lewis responds tactfully with: "It's not quite house, it's more electro pop."
You COULD NOT MAKE IT UP.
Safe to say neither of these boys will be making it big in the music biz any time soon…