Remember when you were young and shiny and new and you just danced through the days and shimmered through the nights and nothing could touch you and love and truth and beauty and strength were the things you admired and life stretched on lengthily and lustfully and the world was a beautiful gem nestled in your hand?
Remember that?
Well sorry to shatter your illusions but LOVE IS DEAD.
LOVE IS DEAD, and it died on a Channel 4 reality show.
Because Scott White and Victoria Wills – the couple who got engaged on a special Christmas version of First Dates with the help of a single Haribo ring – have split.
We know. We know.
As a source told The Sun: "They both thought getting engaged would end up with them going down the aisle and being very happy together but it hasn’t worked out."
SOB.
"There was a huge song and dance around them when Scott popped the question and people thought it was great they had found love through such unusual circumstances," the insider went on.
"But it just hasn't worked out. Scott is back looking for love and the fact she's deleted all traces of him suggests it’s far from amicable."
A very in-depth journalistic investigation (we googled her) showed that Victoria has indeed deleted all her pictures of her ex-lover from her Instagram, whereas his is still full of smoochy snaps of the pair of them.
WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE THIS???
We imagine maître d' of LIFE Fred Sirieix is absolutely fuming about this. No-one gets engaged in his restaurant then breaks up months later without running it by him first.
Anyway, yeah. Probably time for the sun to explode and shower us all in white-hot droplets of burning gas right around now, because 2016 has been an absolute shit-show so far.
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