WARNING: HERE BE SPOILERS.
Geordie Shore is back Back BACK for an incredible season 12 tonight, oi oi!
There are two new housemates, as any fule kno: Chantelle Connelly and Marty McKenna.
There’s also two gaping holes in the family: Kyle Christie, who left for heartbreaking reasons, and Marnie Simpson who left because she got engaged to Ricky Rayment.
But the biggest shock of the first episode comes from Holly Hagan.
Why?
Because she’s got back together with Kyle.
The oh-bloody-hell-really? news comes when Nathan Henry, charmingly, asks Holly if she’s ready to get back in the saddle with team cock.
“Shit,” Holly tells the camera in one of those Geordie Shore green screens that we love.
“There is a reason why I can’t get back on the cock anymore but I’m not quite ready to tell everyone yet.”
She will tell us, however: “If I’m being totally honest… I’m back with Kyle and if I told everyone else, they’d go f*cking crazy.”
Well, he does treat her “like shit” according to Chloe Ferry, who thinks that Holly may leave the show soon.
Noooo!
We’re so far unsure if Holly and Kyle remain together for the duration of the show, but we know they’d split up by February, when Holly refused to attend a photo shoot with the man she referred to as her ex.
Please don’t let Holly and Kyle turn into the next Gary Beadle and Charlotte Crosby. We're not sure we could cope.
*Geordie Shore season 12 begins at 10pm on Tuesday 15 March on MTV. *