TV & Movies

Harry Potter And The Cursed Child - absolutely EVERYTHING you need to know

Why you need to wingardium leviosa your behind to the theatre and see what happens next

Harry Potter is probably the most famous schoolboy of all time (sorry Zack Morris), and unless you’ve been living under a very large, dark and lonely rock, you’ll have read the books, seen the films, and pretended to play Quidditch in your garden using a jagged branch that sort of looks like a Nimbus 2000.

He’s the boy who went from living in a dingy cupboard under the stairs to saving the entire wizarding world from a force darker than evil, and managing to get entire theme parks dedicated to him in the process.

But what happened AFTER he obliterated Voldy, Voldy Voldemort? Was there ever a Quidditch captain fitter than Oliver Wood? Is anyone ever really OK with being a Hufflepuff? And will we ever forgive JK Rowling for killing off Fred Weasley?

Okay – we can’t help you with the last one. But everything else you need to know about life after Hogwarts will be revealed in Harry Potter And The Cursed Child, the play that sent muggles everywhere into a frenzy when tickets went on sale last year.

In June, Harry will be apparating into our lives once again, along with BFFs Hermione and her husband (LOL) Ron. They’ll be back to fight the darkness in the two-part play at the Palace Theatre in London, and you can still get tickets here.

First though, grab yourself a Butterbeer and a Chocolate Frog because we’ve got the low-down on everything you need to know about the hotly anticipated Harry Potter play.

Prepare to be STUPIFIED.

Harry Potter And The Cursed Child

Um, so what is it?

Well Queen Rowling answered our muggle cries of ‘Accio more Harry Potter please,’ by teaming up with Jack Thorn and John Tiffany to write a story about the most famous school kids of our generation, #originalsquadgoals.

Then Jack Thorne – the writer behind Skins and This is England ’86 and ’88 – went one step further and actually turned the story into a two-part West End play so that we could all watch the action unfold in real life and imagine our lives as their mates. The kind of mates who just sort of sit on plumped cushions and watch them do stuff while stuffing our faces with those tiny ice cream pots you get at the theatre, of course. THANKS JACK THORNE.

Yeah, OK – but what is Harry Potter And The Cursed Child actually about?

So 19 years after the boy who lived left Hogwarts, he had married Ginny, fathered three kids and landed himself a job in the Ministry of Magic. Congrats! You’re a man now, Harry. But we all knew that - the last chapter of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows infuriated millions when it was first published, and who could forget Ron’s powerful comb-over at the end of the last film?

HOWEVER, according to the play’s official website, this new offering will focus on Harry dealing with the darkness of his past with his youngest son Albus (soz, BRB. Still crying for Dumbledore).

Who has been picked for the Harry Potter cast?

Jamie Parker will take on the role of grown-up Harry. He starred in The History Boys movie alongside none other than the ACTUAL Uncle Vernon (also known as Richard Griffiths IRL).

Paul Thornley, who has appeared in Les Miserables and EVEN had his voice in Minions, will be playing Harry’s arachnophobic right-hand man, Ron Weasley. He might not have the auburn locks we all know and love but apparently he ‘is ginger in his soul’. Whatever that means.

And Noma Dumezweni is bringing our fave teacher’s pet, Hermione Granger, to life. Noma’s casting caused a stir with naysayers moaning that Hermione wasn’t supposed to be black. That was until JK shut them all down on Twitter. All hail Queen Rowling.

What has changed since Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows?

According to the website, this:

"It was always difficult being Harry Potter and it isn’t much easier now that he is an overworked employee of the Ministry of Magic, a husband and father of three school-age children.

“While Harry grapples with a past that refuses to stay where it belongs, his youngest son Albus must struggle with the weight of a family legacy he never wanted. As past and present fuse ominously, both father and son learn the uncomfortable truth: sometimes, darkness comes from unexpected places."

Does Harry Potter die?

We don’t know, but we’re gonna cross every finger and toe that he doesn’t because then we can call him the MAN who lived.

Is it how Harry Potter should have ended?

Probs yes, purely because we were so intrigued by Ginny’s ability to look like someone’s actual mum at the end of the last film. But if this had happened a few years ago, what would we go and see now? See. JK knows what she’s doing.

Which Harry Potter character are you?

We’re SO glad you asked, because we’ve actually got a super-accurate quiz that will tell you who you’re most like. Honestly.

Is Harry Potter real?

He’s a bit like Santa and the Tooth Fairy – believe it if you REALLY want to. But apparently Nicholas Flamel of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone fame was actually a real-life person and alchemist. So anything’s possible.

Harry Potter facts:

These are the most important things you need to know about Harry Potter And The Cursed Child that we’ve not yet covered. You’re welcome.

There is an overall cast of 42, and original Harry Potter characters include Ginny Weasley and Draco Malfoy. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

The music is composed by none other than Imogen Heap. Mmm, what you say?

Noma, who is playing Hermione, has previously been in Holby City, Shameless, EastEnders AND Dr. Who.

Harry Potter fans who missed out on tickets were paying up to £3,000 for them online. Blimey. Wonder how many Galleons that equates to?

How many Harry Potter spells can you use in one go?

Silencio! Don’t expecto patronus. I don’t crucio or avada kedavra, but if you accio to me I can alohomora your heart and give you a little rictusempra.

##Official cast images

You ready for brand spanking new cast pics? Yep, the first official cast images have been released, giving us a glimpse into The Potter's and The Weasley's family photos.

Here's grown up Harry Potter looking all kinds of moody and handsome. PHWOAR.

Ginny Weasley/Potter

Here they are with their adorable son and son Albus Potter - played by Sam Clemmett.

If you squint a bit he kind of looks like Harry Styles. KIND OF.

Hermione Weasley/Granger

Ron Weasley

And here they are with Rose Weasley who DEFINITELY takes after her fiesty Mum - played by Noma Dumezweni.

Hmm. Sounds a tad creepy, but we got 7. Can you beat that?

Heat magazine cover