Look, it's time we faced facts. This year, 2016, signals the end of days.
There is an actual real possibility that Donald Trump, a man who believes it's acceptable to grab women "by the pussy" (that's not how we say hello, Don) could become the President of the United States of America, Britain has left the EU and The Great British Bake Off is moving from the BBC to Channel 4.
But, in this time of world crisis, we've found that we can rely on a trifecta of baking show baes to stick with the side of good: Mary Berry, Sue Perkins and Mel Giedroyc will be staying true to the Beeb and not following the dough.
Paul Hollywood however, a man who looks at every cake like it's a personal affront, has shown his true colours and they are TRAITOR'S colours.
He's a brave man. The whole country (pretty much) has turned against him, it seems. Including our heroine in specs, Sue.
In tonight's semi-final, there are signs of a sure fire feud between the Bake Off no longer buddies.
Andrew Smythe, Jane Beedle, Selasi Gbormittah and Candice Brown are the final four and, as they're about to tackle the technical challenge which is probably to make a really nice éclair or something (it's patisserie week), Paul tells them:
"Remember, it’s the semi-finals. It’s not only got to taste good, it’s got to look good too."
To which Sue replies, witheringly: "Paul, I think you have an appointment at Banalities R Us, just over there.
"Mary, we’ll see you later."
Yes, we know *Bake Off *was filmed before we knew it was moving from the BBC. Are you saying that Sue can't look into the future? Are you though?
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