Grab something to throw up in, because the cast have told heat some reeeally disgusting stuff
We've long suspected that the Geordie Shore house must be absolutely filthy - Chloe Ferry's festering chicken nuggets lurking under the sofa, the girls' various hair extensions clogging up the shower, and let's not even think about the semen-y broth of the hot tub.
But we've had all our fears confirmed by the Geordie Shore cast, who told heat that their upcoming 13th series is actually the grossest one to date.
Hold on to your stomachs, kids: you are going to feel really ill after reading this.
What was the craziest thing to happen this season?
Holly Hagan: "There were so many dramatic things that happened. Nathan went a bit crazy. He did a 2007 Britney and shaved his hair off."
Nathan Henry: "I shaved all my hair off and was naked all the time and threw sick at people."
Marty McKenna: "Is that what it was? I thought it was shit?"
Nathan: "Well, it was a mix."
Marty: "It was shit and sick stew."
Actual vom? BOAK. What was it like filming in Kavos?
Marty: "Kavos was just full of hard c*nts."
Holly: "In Kavos Nathan was fun."
Marty: "Nathan shitting in his hand."
Nathan: "I got pinned down in a club by bouncers because I wouldn't stop dancing then I got carried out. They had to get six, one bouncer wasn't enough."
Holly: "It was boy drama. There's always drama on Geordie Shore."
Speaking of boy fights, do you all compare penis sizes? Is it an urban legend that Gary Beadle's is the same size and shape as a Sky remote?
Scotty T: "Mine's a satellite dish."
Holly: "I find it so degrading so I think it's so bad when people say 'Gary's dick is so big' when actually size doesn't matter. Some of them are growers not showers. Size isn't the be all and end all of a penis - you need to know how to use it."
Nathan: "I know for a fact that my dick cannot fit in a Lucozade bottle. I think I've got quite a girthy willy and it's a good length. It's nice, it's pretty."
Er, thanks guys.
For the full interview with the cast, pick up the latest heat magazine - out now.
Catch the brand new series of Geordie Shore from Tuesday 25 October at 10pm on MTV.